My Heath Care Plan

It seems like everyone is talking about health insurance these days. I'm not a doctor, veterinarian, politician, lawyer, plumber, zoologist, botanist, chemist, circus employee, nutritionist, pharmacist, actor, writer or nail technician - but I am a renowned sleep expert and proficient sweat creator & I have a plan!

1. Get rid of all insurance companies. Heath care should be a collaboration between doctor and patient, not bureaucrat and higher-up bureaucrat. I'm sure there's some econmic loss associated with doing this, but I'm sure there's also some gain - I'm not really an economist, but I do pay my own bills online - so I feel that I'm somewhat qualified to make these assumptions.
   
2. Dissolve Medicare - This represents about $480 Billion per year in savings.
   
3. Government gives everyone (every age) $3000/year in a HSA This will cost about $921 Billion. This money is used by individuals to make their own health care decisions. Since insurance companies are not involved this will increase competition and lower overall costs. Again, this is my working theory - but five out of six misfits agree with me.
   
4. If all the funds are not used in the HSA - they will carryover into the next year, so (ideally) the money will grow for those who are healthy. There should be several issuing bank options for consumers. Hopefully, this increases bank competition and also the individual's return on their HSA funds. The profits on HSA accounts are split equally between the patient and the L-TAC agency (see #6). As an example, let's say the yearly returns are $100 per account. This is approximately $15 Billion per year each for the L-TAC and patients.
   
5. All employers pay $250/month/employee (regardless of status or hours) to the L-TAC (Long-Term Treatment and Care) account - I'm sure someone could come up with a better acronym or term, but I'm don't really have this skill. This could be employee paid (up to 50%), or employers could pay all of it (this is about $50 less than what we currently pay as a small business per employee for health insurance). This is approximately $660 Billion per year.
6. Set up a non profit & non government agency for distribution of L-TAC funds. The L-TAC funds will be used after an individual has depleted their HSA account. The L-TACAfunds can only be used for long-term illnesses (like cancer treatment), pregnancy and long-term care. Set rates for these services will be determined by medical professionals in advance (so there's no stupid haggling). Hospitals and doctors will be responsible for all L-TAC claim submissions.

So - here's a summary of my plan:

Costs - $921 Billion
Savings/Revenue - $1.16 Trillion
Difference - + $234 Billion (per year)

Some of these savings should be used to create the L-TAC agency and the rest of the funds should be held in a reserve account and used during times of economic downturn (when there aren't as many employees paying into the L-TAC) or used for someother kind of healthcare benefit.

So that's my first plan. My other plan consists of cookie dough for everyone - because soon it will be proven that cookie dough cures all illnesses and makes you happy. I'm still working on the logistics of the CDP (cookie dough plan).

New Business Idea

A few weeks ago, my fabulous friend Liz and I were watching the very cerebral show - "The Real Housewives of New York". During this particular episode one of the housewives, Kelly, was talking about her new jewelery line. She explained that there was a real unmet need for owl-themed jewelery. Yes, the hoot-hoot kind of owl. We found this to be hilarious - who would have guessed that there was an entire segment of the population wishing that their significant other would buy them a piece of owl jewelery instead of diamonds or platinum?

Well, this got us thinking (not always a good thing). If there are women (or conceivably men) who want owl jewelery, then it stands to reason there's a HUGE underserved market for ferret paraphernalia too. I've read many studies that say ferrets are more popular than owls (Smith, John. "Why Ferrets Are Better Than Owls". Ferret Fancy. 14 March 2008). We thought of many product ideas - Ferret Charms, Ferret Bracelets and (the best) Ferret T-Shirts. Our business model is based upon customizing your own ferret (see picture above - also done with the graphic design program - Microsoft Paint). My ferret has a pink bow and pink toenails, but yours could have a little skull bandanna or a green bowtie - there is no end to the creativity!

We already know the most lucrative part of our ferret empire will be the t-shirt division. After you've designed your ferret - you can get a t-shirt with a picture of your ferret and any one of the following clever slogans:

• Pet My Ferret - Even If It's Sticky
• Lick My Ferret - Even If It's Icky
• Smell My Ferret - Even If It's Stinky
• Touch My Ferret - Even If It's Gunky
• Love My Ferret - Even If It's Freaky

There are probably a couple I'm missing - the possibilities are endless, but for the purposes of production efficiency, we'll have to limit it to a few choices. Our dream is that people will wear their Ferret T-Shirts (complete with fake fur) and spill on themselves thereby making the ferrets sticky, icky, stinky, gunky and freaky. Our other dream is that the shirts will lead to World Peace, but that is secondary to the spilling.

We don't have a company name yet for this venture, but I'm thinking something like . . . My Little Ferret or Pet My Ferret or something similar. We're thinking this is the idea that's going to make us rich (or at least get us committed by our husbands).

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