30 For 30

I have a TV recommendation!

Buttin and I started watching 30 for 30 this weekend. It's an ESPN documentary series - featuring 30 sports stories by 30 different film makers.

We watched the Guru of Go and Buttin and I were reduced to blubbering fools & I don't even like basketball that much. I slept through the middle part of Run Ricky Run (hook'em horns), but Buttin said it was fascinating (and the parts I stayed awake for were great). These documentaries make the little feature stories they do during the Olympics look like junior high journalism pieces.

Now, a little picture of my athlete (I've got my fingers crossed for curling):

Tried To Have A Cookie Review

Buttin and I tried to see The Wolfman today, but the projection & sound system just weren't cooperating.

At one point, we could see the movie, but couldn't hear it. I decided to provide my own sound effects and dialogue - for Buttin's sake. Buttin kept pulling away from me like he was embarrassed - I guess this is what Lumpy will do one day too. I'm going to be THAT mom.

So, instead of watching The Wolfman, I'm now watching ski jumping. Ski jumping seems like a fun thing to do (although far too dangerous for me, I fall walking in my own house), but it's difficult for me to see it as a sport. What kind of athleticism does jumping off a hill take? It really just seems like who can fall off a hill the furthest. How does one even determine that they're good at ski jumping? Do you start off on a really small hill? Because, it seems like if you don't land properly you could really injury yourself? Maybe it's the landing that takes the athletic ability. What if you have to go to the bathroom, but you're trapped in that unitard suit? So many questions about ski jumping. Oh well, Buttin just came home so now we're playing a video game - I guess I'll have to get my questions answered when they jump the "bigger" hill - hopefully, I'll be able to watch that event.

Thirty Second TV Reviews - New Fall TV

As I believe I've mentioned before, I love TV.

Here's a brief review of some of the new fall shows that Buttin and I have watched:

Community

Very funny and entertaining, but it doesn't quite have the heart of a show like The Office. Sometimes I need more than just funny, so I'm hoping this show develops some warmth.

Modern Family

My favorite new show of the fall. Like Community, it's very funny and entertaining - BUT - it also has a big heart. It's one of those shows where whoever is talking, I say - "oh, oh - that's one of my favorite characters."

Flash Forward

This drama introduces about five new mysteries a week, but so far it solves at least two or three of them - so I'm not left hanging or keeping some kind of chart of unanswered questions. My one wish is that this show would interject just a little comic relief.

Glee

I'm entertained, but only by the dancing/singing numbers. I haven't been drawn into the story yet and so far I find it a little cheesy (I know that sounds like a contradiction seeing as I enjoy the dorky musical numbers).

The Cleveland Show

Family Guy this is not, but I'm hoping for some improvement.

Hoarders Is Depressing

Last Saturday, Buttin and I went to Dim Sum with our friends Ben & Ann. We had a great time, but as I mentioned in Saturday's post, Lumpy wasn't really feeling the salt and pepper shrimp (my favorite).

During our conversation (most of which was consumed by Lumpy & Connor - Ben & Ann's baby) we started talking about one of Ben's new favorite shows - Hoarders (on A&E). As soon as we got home, Buttin started to record episodes.

Initially, I didn't want to watch this show. The idea of seeing people living in absolute filth, getting upset about someone throwing away their expired sour cream was not really appealing. I don't really enjoy seeing people at their worst unless I'm guaranteed a happy ending. Well, I've watched about two episodes now and for the most part, my initial thoughts were correct - this show is depressing. One of the most depressing parts about the show is that even when their house gets cleaned (some people don't even make it to this point), they're still left with a pretty junky house. Years of accumulated filth doesn't do a lot of good for carpet, walls, furniture, etc. I'm sure the house still smells really bad even after all the trash (and some of this "trash" is rotting pumpkins and cat skeletons - so not your typical stuff) has been removed.

In order to make this show better, I think the Hoarders show producers should pay for new paint, new flooring and maybe some new furniture. It would certainly make me happier when I watch it.

The show did make me a little self-conscious about all of my Christmas hoarding. I do tend to collect bows, boxes, paper and decorations a little more than the average person, but it's nothing like the people on this show - so I'm safe for now. After watching one episode, Buttin promptly cleaned up the kitchen so if this show is good for anything - it's good to keep Buttin and I aware of any bad habits.

Food Porn

One of my favorite TV channels to watch is the Food Network.

It all started many years ago when I had a hiking accident and would get nightmares. I would sleep with the television on so that I wasn't in the dark with my thoughts. I found that the Food Network was one of the only channels I could constantly have on where I wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night to something disturbing (unless you think Rachel Ray is disturbing).

Buttin didn't love the Food Network at first, but like any good husband, he would turn the Food Network on when I came into the living room. Slowly, the Food Network began to grow on him, but only certain shows.

Buttin and I try to be good about what we eat, but we have two different philosophies. Mine is "everything in moderation", so I will eat one or two cookies (mostly in dough form) with my half a sandwich. On the other hand, Buttin has two philosophies; "quantity, not quality" and "all the sugar, none of the fat". So, he can eat a pound (I'm not kidding) of plain white rice with grilled white meat chicken followed by a 32 oz Dr. Pepper and a loaf of bread.

Since we have somewhat different eating philosophies, it stands to reason that we would like different Food Network shows. The shows I tend to enjoy are cooking shows with regular portions and the shows Buttin enjoys are what I like to call "Food Porn".

One of his favorites (and I enjoy it too) is called "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives". In this show the host travels around the country in search of the best (as the title implies) diners, drive-ins and dives. Buttin loves this show - this is the only Food Network show he will record. He then sits and ogles at the screen (as though a teenager watching porn) and makes little cooing noises. Buttin rarely enjoys any kind of real food (at least nothing I would eat), so I think he lives his food fantacies thru this show.

Buttin also indulges in other types of food porn. One of his favorite new websites (that I always catch him on) is called "This is why you're fat." I think he secretly dreams about this food. I guess some husbands dream about Megan Fox, mine dreams about oreo lasagna. Let's face it - Megan Fox, I could compete with (chuckle, chuckle) - I have no chance against oreo lasagna.

My Life: The Sitcom

One of my new favorite shows is Better Off Ted.

In my opinion, the best parts of the show are the commercials for the fictional company, Veridian Dynamics - the location that serves as the setting for the show.

Sometimes, I think my life is like a sitcom - which I guess is better than a soap opera or one of those public access conspiracy shows. One need only read some of the few posts regarding the "misfits" to understand the sitcom-like nature of my life.

For when Hollywood comes calling, here are some sitcom names and posters for my life at Carpet Warehouse.

Play Misfit For MeStupid & Stupider Kings of Carpet

Stiz TV

I may have mentioned it a time or two, but it deserves repeating - I rather enjoy television. Even though I have about 200 bazillion channels, sometimes I can never find anything to watch. For this reason my fabulous friend Liz and I are going to create a new channel, Stiz.

Here is my proposed programming line up for Stiz.

Sunday: Law & Order SVU & Law & Order (all day long)
Monday - Thursday: Morning - Sunrise Earth, Afternoon - Law & Order (all three), Evening - Pushing Daisies, The Closer & Burn Notice.
Friday: Morning - Sunrise Earth, Afteroon - Criminal Minds, Law & Order (all three) & Bones, Evening - various movies approved by us, possibilities include: Sahara, James Bond & Harry Potter.
Saturday: Morning & Afternoon - Real Housewives of New York & Orange County, Law & Order (all three) & The Closer. Evening - other various movies approved by us.

Stiz will focus on comfort television - the type of shows that you just want on in the background and a channel you can always turn to when you can't find anything else to watch. Programming will change (if I'm not busy taking a napy) as Liz & I discover new shows that we agree would add to the already existing line up.

Thirty Second TV Show Review - Tosh.0

Tosh.0

This Comedy Central show is kind of like The Soup (which I also love), but with web clips. It's sometimes mean, but always hilarious.

American Idol, You Just Got Served

I know, I'm a dork.

Here are five reasons why So You Think You Can Dance is better than American Idol.

1. SYTYCD has about a billion times more heart. - I cry or almost cry at least once a week while watching SYTYCD. I didn't think I could stop after this week's Ade/Melissa routine. AI singing has never moved me to tears.
   
2. No crappy theme nights. -On SYTYCD, every night has different styles; if you don't like one style, wait two minutes and it'll change. Sometimes an entire show of AI can be ruined by the crappy theme.
   
3. Much better costumes. - I could never wear these costumes, but they are awesome. AI contestants look so boring in comparison.
   
4. You have to deal with Mary Murphy screaming (which I secretly don't hate), but it's no where near as bad as Paula's nonsensical ramblings. - This is pretty self-explanatory.
5. Dancing is just more fun. - I am also much better at dancing than I am at singing, which is kind of like saying I'm better at carpet cleaning than I am at carpet repairing. I enjoy dancing around the house, in my car and at work - I don't care if people are watching. Watching dancing is just more fun than watching people sing, and this is a fact.
   

Here are my top girl & top guy: Jeanine & Ade

Dead Like Me

Every summer, when TV is in rerun land, Buttin and I watch older shows on DVD. I do appreciate that many great shows have seasons that run during the summer; (i.e. Burn Notice, Weeds, Mad Men & SYTYCD) however, these shows don't fill up my DVR in the way that I'm accustomed. There are honestly times in the fall when we have to stay indoors just to watch shows for fear we might reach DVR capacity and miss recording another of our favorites.

For all of you missing ((insert your favorite show here)) & if you say "CSI: Miami" or "Two and A Half Men", I'll laugh at you) I have a recommendation - "Dead Like Me". We've just finished it and I miss it already. It's the same kind of sadness you get when you finish a good book - I miss the people in this show. It's a dark comedy (originally aired on Showtime) about a group of grim reapers. The protagonist (Georgia) is an early 20-something gal who just recently died (from a piece of space trash plummeting to Earth, a toilet seat) and becomes a grim reaper. She is one of a small group of reapers (from the "accident division") who claims the souls of accident victims right before they die.

I must say that I find this idea incredibly comforting and the show has moments of uncomfortable humor mixed with sweet despair (like when we find out there's such a thing as animal reapers). Every episode revolves around the group of reapers, (they can be seen and touched by all people, but they just look different than when they were alive) the souls they take and the family Georgia left behind. It makes me want to know a grim reaper, just like Harry Potter makes me want to go to Hogwarts.

Bryan Fuller created "Dead Like Me" and I can also highly recommend his other shows, "Wonderfalls" and the oh so sadly short lived, "Pushing Daisies". As I mentioned in my Lame TV Show Names post, I have no idea why shows like "Pushing Daisies" don't make it, but shows like "Two and a Half Men" thrive. I don't understand why people don't ask my opinion.

If you're having a summer TV drought - I also highly recommend "The Wire", which is one of he best shows ever. We are also enjoying "True Blood" - turns out if you can get over Anna Paquin's accent - it's pretty entertaining.

The Last Three Pushing Daisies

I'm in love with a TV show that's been cancelled.

I'm a girl who needs a certain amount of whimsy in my life. This whimsy can be provided by any number of things, including; spending time with my niece JT (she's a stop and smell the psychedelic flowers kind of little girl), listening to our misfits defend a decision they've made (this often boarders on absurd, but you have to see the funny in it so you don't kill them) and television shows.

As I've mentioned before, work makes me stressed. I'm stressed about bills, stressed about employees, stressed about customers and the list goes on. I have found that a good antidote to my unnatural level of stress is whimsy. Whimsy makes me feel so much better - it's like an escape to a happy place that cannot be reached by outsiders. Stupid outsiders and their stupid demands.

A couple fall seasons ago, I found the ultimate in whimsy in a wonderful show - Pushing Daisies. I fell in love with this show from the very first frame - it's unusual coloring and narrated story made me squeal with whimsical delight! It was the perfect adult fairytale and I love fairy tales. Then the stupid writers strike came and took my beloved show away. Stupid writers or producers or money-grubby people or whoever's fault it was.

The show came back last fall and I was so happy. I told EVERYONE (which was probably just Liz and maybe one other person) I know about this show. I delighted in the love story and every little crime fighting adventure. Buttin and I even talked about naming Lumpy, Charlotte (when/if Lumpy arrives and if Lumpy is a girl), in honor of one of the main characters.

Sadly, even with all my love - Pushing Daisies was cancelled. I blame the terrorists. In hindsight, I probably should have told more people to watch it or sent in a bunch of daisy seeds to ABC in protest.

I have the last three Pushing Daisies waiting in my DVR - waiting for me and for when the day when I really need the most powerful form of whimsy ever created. I really am scared for that day and don't want it to ever come, because if it ever does then I'll have to admit that Pushing Daisies really is over. So sad.

Lame TV Show Names

Is it just me or does there seem to be a plethora of two word TV show titles - with the first word being "The"? This just seems a little lazy to me - "The Mentalist" (a show I love), "The Ghost Whisper" (I know, it's three words), The Cleaner, The Unusuals (I like this one, but heard it's already been cancelled), The Closer (another show I actually enjoy), The Philanthropist, The Listener . . . seriously, The Listener? The Listener sounds quite possibly like the most boring TV show ever - a show about someone Listening????!!! Is anyone actually watching this show? It at least gives me hope that they could create a TV show based upon some of my favorite activities, here are some ideas:

1. The Sleeper - Procedural Crime Drama: I would fight crime by sleeping - solving the case in my dreams.
2. The Eater - Comedy: I'm a sassy food critic with a group of 30-something friends.
3. The Breather - Quirky Crime Drama: I'm an asthmatic detective who disarms possible suspects in the interrogation room whenever I have an asthma attack.
4. The Jogger - Travel Show: I travel to fabulous cities showing people awesome places to jog while on vacation.
5. The Misfits - Realty Show: Cameras would document all of my misfits at work. I think they actually have a show called "The Exterminators" - so why not a show about people selling carpet?
   

I cannot believe that shows like "The Listener" exist, while shows like "Pushing Daisies" are cancelled. People (at ABC, NBC, CBS & FOX) should really consult me before green lighting or cancelling a show. Of course, watch "The Listener" become the next "The Sopranos".