My Walk With Mouser

Story originally written on Thursday (but Blogger was down). 

My Walk With Mouser

by Cash Naylor

Today, I was having a grumpy afternoon.

My mommy, in all her wisdom told me I should go blow off some steam.  I decided to go outside for a walk with my dog-like cat, Mouser.

Mouser decided to fall behind and check out some birds.

But then he caught up (yeah!).  Side note: see the silver truck way in the back of the picture - that's where I live - I walked a long way (with the help of my rocket).

Next we decided to take a little break in our friend Archer's front yard.  He has acorns to play with and I love to eat acorns, much to the dismay of my mom.

We found something in Archer's front yard that looked like a brownie.  I don't eat brownies (or anything else, really), but my mom and Mormor LOVE brownies.

Whatever it was, it sure didn't taste very good.

After that yucky experience, I decided it was time to go back home. Mouser, where are you?

I found Mouser and we headed back home.

On our way back home, I found a very interesting truck.  Look mom, my reflection!

Mouser thought the truck was pretty interesting too.

Mouser led the way back home.  See, there's the silver truck again but now it's much, much closer.  

All the lazy kitties were waiting for us in the driveway.  Mouser is in the bottom right hand corner of the picture, Scratch and Peenie (the one sleeping in a lego box) are the lazy ones.  

Next, Mouser and I decided to play blocks.  I also hit him with a stick.  

After all that fun and excitement - Mouser and I decided to take a nap.  I only tried to bite him a couple of times.

I love Mouser.  He is the best kitty-cat ever.

The End.

A Halloween Story

Once upon a time . . .

there was a Pouty Little Bear


and a Focused Little Pumpkin.


Pumpkin: Hey, you - bear. I hear aliens are coming. Let's get out of here!


Bear: Silly pumpkin! You must be joking.

Pumpkin: No, I'm as serious as root vegetable. Let's get out of here!

Bear: Pumpkin! I think I found the alien.

Pumpkin: No, bear -- that's a monkey, albeit a very silly little monkey.

Pumpkin: Maybe this is an alien?

Bear: Pumpkin, that's a super hot chili pepper not an alien!

Bear: Oh no . . .how will we identify the aliens?
Pumpkin: It's OK little bear, don't cry.

Bear: Pumpkin! Now, is no time to sleep. We've got to get moving.

Pumpkin: Come on bear - I think we escape this way.


Bear & Pumpkin (together): Oh no! The aliens are here!

Bear: Mom, the aliens turned my pumpkin friend into a tiger.

The end.

Cast
Pumpkin: Henry
Monkey: Nico
Chili Pepper: Isaac
Tiger: Anderson
Bear: Cash

The Great Cupcake Massacre

Today is Graby's half-birthday.

(Quick aside: I'm still working on a couple other 6 - month posts, including his letter.)

It also happens to be a Wednesday, so I met with my mama's group and brought cupcakes to celebrate the milestone.

There were a couple of cupcakes left so in my infinite wisdom I decided to give Cub a cupcake (after his avocado dinner) and see what would happen.

The following is a photo story, I do not think narration is necessary.

The Great Cupcake Massacre














I think there was more cupcake in his diaper (including a couple sprinkles) than in his stomach. It took about 15 minutes for complete cupcake annihilation. I actually had some problems taking pictures (if you can believe it) because I was laughing so hard at Cub's focus and determination.

Assault On Barbie

OK - time for another quick SBOS.

Assault on Barbie

Once upon a time, there was a delightful woman named Barbie. She loved working at Carpet Warehouse and was usually able to find the good in people (she is certainly much sweeter on the phone than yours truly).

Barbie spends her days doing many different things (especially in August, very busy). One of the things she does is try to collect money from customers who have promised to pay for goods and services, but have taken much longer than any sane person would consider acceptable. Most customers pay and some are even embarrassed that they are late. Barbie has a very sweet way about her and people respond positively to her understanding nature.

Today, Barbie experienced the opposite of a rational (forget nice or sweet or embarrassed) customer. A man came in today who was very late in paying for work we had done (like last summer) to pay his balance. He was hoping that we would continue to do work for his company, but Barbie told him at this time, we could not.

He reacted as if Barbie had called him a Nazi, kicked his puppy and threw a flaming bag of poo in his face. He lunged at her, grabbed her hand (which was holding the checks he had just given her) and ripped the checks away from her. I was just coming down the hall when this scuffle started (it lasted about 10 seconds). I heard Barbie yelling, Hey, Hey, Hey, Wait. At first I thought she was laughing (Barbie usually laughs a lot), but then (about a millisecond after realizing Barbie was NOT laughing) I got to her office and saw the mean man reaching over Barbie's desk and struggling with her for the checks. I started calling for Buttin and just stood in Barbie's doorway. I said something to the mean man, but I don't remember what exactly (it was probably something very intelligent like, you pee-waffle get away from Barbie). By the time Buttin got to Barbie's doorway (which was about two seconds after I called him), the mean man brushed past me. He was very ogre-like, about 8 feet tall (well at leas 6'5") with crazy-eyes and mean looking (that's why I creatively call him the mean man).

Buttin went out after him (mostly to make sure that he had left the building) and Barbie started shaking. I was shaking a little too. It all happened so quickly, but it was just so unexpected.

After work, Barbie went home and had many adult beverages.

The End

Here is Graby demonstrating (with Sophie) what he would have done to the mean man (hang him upside down over a pool of sharks and break his legs - or at least chew on them).

Cash's First Screenplay

If you don't already know it - this post will confirm it - I'm a huge dork.

Last night was Cash and my first night alone without Buttin. In all my dorky wisdom I decided to send Buttin an email containing a screenplay from Cash.

The story contains quite a few jokes that Buttin might only understand, but I know the grandmas will appreciate all the pictures.

I'll leave out all the cheesy, "Hi Daddy - it's me Cash and here's my screenplay" stuff that I put in the email to Buttin and just give you all the plot (of which there's not much) and pictures (of which there are many).

Screenplay: THERE WILL BE SWADDLES

Author: C.H. Naylor (because he'll only use his first two initials as his professional name - like J.K. Rowling, H.P. Lovecraft or H.I. McDunnough)

Starring: Cash Hansen Naylor as DANNY PLAINBLANKET


THE END

I hope you enjoyed it!

The Twins (Kings) Of Carpet Warehouse

I haven't written a story in a couple of weeks, so here is a new (semi-fictitious) story about Tubby-Tub & Buttin - The Twins (Kings) of Carpet Warehouse.

A long time ago (a little longer time ago for Tubby-Tub, because he's old) Tubby-Tub and Buttin were little boys. They grew up at least 16 (but maybe more like 1600) miles apart, and never knew they had a twin. (Dun, dun, dun . . .)

As a brief explanation, Tubby-Tub & Buttin aren't twins in the scientific or genetic sense of the word, but as children - they longed for someone (anyone) to dress just like them. As an example, when Tubby-Tub was a small boy, growing up behind the 7/11 in a small Ohio town, he and his best friend, Green Looking Hard Thing - Greenie for short (a turtle), would play dress-up. Since his best friend was a turtle - there were limited options, but Tubby-Tub found cute little masks to wear and sticks to carry. Here is an artist's rendering of Tubby-Tubby and Greenie:

Little did Tubby-Tub know, that in the small town of Memphis, Texas - his twin, Buttin, was also longing for a companion who would dress just like him. Buttin's bestfriend in Memphis was a sheet cake. Buttin couldn't so much dress up like cake (although from time to time he was known to put shaving cream on his body and flowers in his hair), so he just ate cake. Here is Buttin about ready to get close to his bestfriend at the time - Cake With Flowers (seriously, he loved cakes with flowers).

As Tubby-Tub and Buttin both grew up (not knowing their twin even existed) spending countless years desiring a dress mate. They drowned their sorrows with one empty relationship after another. Tubby-Tub became slower and slower - exactly like Greenie. (It is even rumored that Greenie was the one who started calling Tubby-Tub, "Grandma", because he moved so slowly). Buttin went the opposite direction with his friend, Cake With Flowers, and started to avoid not only cake, but all things sweet.

One day, while at a confernce for men who want to dress alike and who also love flooring (Men Who Want To Dress Alike and Also Like Flooring of America), Buttin and Tubby-Tub met. They instantly bonded over all things clothing and flooring related.

They had finally found their twin. Soon they decided to start working together at Carpet Warehouse. Carpet Warehouse is a magical place (full of misfits and non-flushing toilets) where everyday they explore their love flooring, while also dressing alike.

THE END.