No Misfit Monday because we didn't go into work today.
Instead we spent the day enjoying the beautiful weather - high was about 89. ((In some sad news, there are a few wildfires in Central Texas that have destroyed over 500 homes. Thankfully, none of the fires are near us.))
As part of our beautiful day, we spent a couple hours at Liz & Jonathan's house. Cub used to be a little timid around their pool, but not anymore. I had to hop in with my clothes on after him.
Cub's second favorite thing to do at Liz and Jonathan's house - POO HUNTING!
Liar, liar, pants on fire. There is no poo in Liz's yard. Liz's dogs have been trained not to fart or poo at all. They are scientific wonders.
ReplyDeleteAs an objective observer I have to say that you are so lucky to have a friend like Liz who coaches you and mentors you to be a better person and better mom. And, instead of giving Liz a medal or a trophy or nominating her for a Nobel Prize, you post lies about the cleanliness of her backyard on the interwebs. In addition to being ungrateful for the friendship of such an amazing being (Liz) you run the risk of being charged with slander for spreading such vicious lies. No one likes a liar. Except Liz who is benevolent and kind and is very accepting of all people no matter their flaws - even inveterate liars like yourself.
Have you thought about the message you are sending to your son that telling lies and pointing at rocks and pretending they are feces is OK? Pretty soon he will be fibbing about everything and pointing at trees and saying they are ducks or maybe pointing at pee and saying its water. Do you see the kind of enormous and far reaching problem you are creating? What if Cash goes to school and teaches the other kids that pills are candy? What will you do then? Have you thought about the series of catastrophes that could result from this seemingly harmless prank? Apparently not as you are clearly short sighted and possibly dumb.
What are you going to do to make this up to Liz? Have you thought about giving her a substantial gift card to a luxury retailer (like Neiman Marcus) or buying her a case of her favorite beverage (Titos)? Or maybe you could prostrate yourself on her living room floor, beg for forgiveness, and then scrub her whole house from top to bottom? Or you could clean out her car? Or walk her poo-free dogs?
I think you should post your "forgiveness roadmap" for Liz and all the world to see on your blog and let people vote on the best "forgiveness gift" you could give to Liz. She probably won't be speaking to you until she sees a sign of good faith via your blog that you plan to make restitution for this terrible situation. Oh, and also for the Junior Mints that your little vandal/son put in the pool. Yeah, she knows about that too.
May god have mercy on your soul,
A Helpful Gypsy