Dear Cash - 23 Months

My dear sweet Cash,

I've said it before, but this time I really mean it - I've been dreading (and also looking forward to) this month for a while.

This month (your 23rd) is probably the last one where I can say you are "such and such" MONTHS old.  People would probably look at me strangely (even more than they already do) if I said you were 180 months old when you're fifteen.  From here on out, my Cub, your age will be measured in years (or half years).                            

A few days ago, I wrote about some "firsts".  My wise friend, Jen, made a comment on that post about embracing the firsts because there are so many milestones that are "lasts" that never get noticed.

Like, the last time I will refer to your age in months.

It got me thinking about what "last" milestones have come and gone without a mention.  I wanted to take some time today, on your 23 month birthday, to celebrate some of the "lasts"  we've shared. 

The last time you nursed.  Thankfully for the both of us you weened so gradually that I don't even remember the last time you nursed, but it was probably somewhere around your 18 or 19 month birthday.   I have some baby mama friends who can vividly recall this milestone and my heart hurts for them because I know the ending was sad.

The last time you ate baby food.  Again, I don't know the exact day when you last ate mushed food - I'm guessing somewhere around the 12 - 15 month (it's a big range, I know).  I used to make all your baby food so you'd think I'd remember the end more clearly, but I don't.  I'm sure you're thankful that I stopped taking so many pictures of you while you ate baby food.

The last time you crawled. To be fair, sometimes you still crawl around when you're being silly.  I don't remember the last time you crawled around as your primary mode of transportation - somewhere around 13 - 14 months.  I remember meeting with the other baby mamas and watching you and your friends crawl around - crawling is such a funny looking movement.  You were a cute crawler, Cubbie.

The last time you woke up in the middle of the night (for a non-illness related reason).  We used to spend so much time together in the middle of the night.  Don't get me wrong, I love my sleep, but I do miss our time together of being still and close.  I don't really miss the nights where you would want to play for two hours in the middle of the night, but I know that I'll never get that time back.   I hate it when you get sick, but I do love how you need to snuggle when you're not feeling well. 

All of these milestones are bittersweet  - the last of one thing (like crawling), usually means the first of something else (like walking).  It's always the firsts that get remembered/celebrated and not the lasts.  I'm going to try and remember some of the lasts and embrace them like I would a first. 

Your dad and I love you so much.  Everyday you make us laugh and we love hearing your voice (you now say, "cat", "bat", "bike" and "water").  

Please be sweet to me and your dad and please don't grow up too quickly.

Love,

Your Mom

Here's a picture of you on your 23 month birthday.