I received a complaint.
Apparently my blog has gotten "too depressing" with all my doctor/illness/injury conversation.
The title of this post is for the complainer, who shall remain anonymous (ahem, Liz).
The rest of this post is not for her (so stop reading anonymous reader).
Today we went to see the ENT for Cub's enlarge adenoids and snot production surplus problems.
Bottom line: Cub will probably need his adenoids and tonsils removed.
However, the doctor we saw today (who will henceforth be referred to as Dr. Prick the Huge Asshole from Butthole Town) will not be operating on Cub or be seeing him ever again.
He was the most condescending doctor I've ever visited.
Here are a few examples. Imagine that every time "Dr Prick" speaks - he is rolling his eyes and speaking to me as though I am five and don't understand English.
Doctor Prick: So, what seems to be the problem?
Me: Oh, Cash has been snotty his whole life - you know, sinus issues, allergies and colds.
Doctor Prick: How do you know it's sinuses?
Me: Oh, I don't really know, I just kind of assumed snot comes from sinus issues.
Doctor Prick: Drainage doesn't mean there are sinus issues. Has he had a cat scan?
Me: Nope. I was just referred to you after doing an xray.
Doctor Prick: Well, a cat scan is the only way to really diagnose sinus issues.
Me: OK, do we need a cat scan?
Doctor Prick: I'll determine that need later.
Doctor Prick: So, do you do anything for his nose to help with the drainage.
Me: Like wash it?
Doctor Prick: Yes.
Me: No, not really. We have him blow his nose and when he was much younger I used saline and bulb suction.
Doctor Prick: Well, it says here you use Nasonex (gesturing to one of the ten million forms I filled out).
Me: Yes.
Doctor Prick: Well, Nasonex goes in the nose - you're putting it in his nose, aren't you?
Me: Yes.
Doctor Prick: Well, than that IS something that you're doing to help with the drainage.
Me: (Gulp) OK, I guess I didn't know exactly what you meant by the question. (I felt like saying, well he also puts his finger, edamame and a random straw up his nose - does that also help with drainage?)
Doctor Prick: So, describe this "stalled breathing" thing that he does when he sleeps, how long does it last?
Me: About 5 - 10 seconds.
Doctor Prick: Are you sure?
Me: I think so.
Doctor Prick: OK, let's hold our breath for 10 seconds.
Me: (really? this is patronizing). OK
Doctor Prick: (Gets out his watch as I pretend to hold my breath for 10 seconds).
Doctor Prick: OK, is that how long it is?
Me: Well, maybe closer to 5 seconds.
Doctor Prick: Well, that's important so you need to observe him more while he sleeps.
Me: OK.
Doctor Prick: Your pediatrician did not send over the xray.
Me: OK, I don't remember the name of the place, but I know it's on Parmer . . .
Doctor Prick: (cuts me off) Well, if you don't know the name of the place it's a waste of time for us to look it up at the five different places where it could be and this appointment is kind of a waste of time.
Me: OK, let me look it up in my phone.
Doctor Prick: Yes, please do.
Thankfully, I found the name of the xray place and he was able to view Cub's enlarge adenoids. Apparently, his passageways are blocked by about 75% and his tonsils are larger than normal, but not huge.
I am not exaggerating any of the dialogue above - if anything it was worse.
Dr. Prick also thinks he is humanity's gift to all people especially stupid mothers (like me), but has less bed side manner than Dr. Bitch soaked in alligator piss - and that's saying something.
The search for a reasonably nice, non-condescending and relatively nice smelling ENT continues.
Here are a couple of non-depressing pictures of Cub.
Eating a healthy vegetable dinner (if potato chips count as veggies).
Excited for bath time.
From Liz (who apparently has been banned by blogger from leaving comments)
ReplyDeleteOMG How did you not stab that doctor in the face with a pen? Seriously when someone talks to you like that you have to put your foot down and say something like, "Listen jackass, if you keep talking to me like I am a f--king moron one of the following things is going to happen (a) we can go outside and we can throw down in the parking lot and you will see that I am a badass ninja-mom, (b) I will write negative reviews about you on every website I can find that has anything to do with doctors, or (c) I will slash the tires on your Mercedes. So lets start over with our nice voices or you will find out that not only am I not stupid but I am also really mean."
Now, if you do select that particular solution you can expect that the doctor might throw you out of the office and/or call the police but so what? You aren't going back there again anyway. I really think you should go to Yelp or someplace and give this doctor a bad review and post his name on your FB page warning other people. There is no reason for him to treat you like that (unless you came in dressed as a pink fairy and were spreading magic happy powder around his office and in that case he is totally justified).
In other news....take a good look at the bottom photo you posted of Cash (aka: the kid who will hate his mom when he is old enough to read this blog) and you tell me if it looks to you like he is grabbing his crotch. Because that is what it looks like to me. What is he some gangsta' rapper grabbing his Johnson on stage at Madison Square Garden. Don't answer that...you lost touch with reality about 5 years ago so you probably think that is exactly what he is. Crotch grabbing is inappropriate...even if your name is Kanye West.
I haven't been banned by Blogger!
ReplyDelete