The most difficult thing for me as a small business owner is trying to not take things too personally. This is nearly impossible for me. Customer issues, misfit issues, supplier issues - I take them all personally.
I don't want to dwell on craptasticness, so we'll just look at this cute picture of Cub and misfit Patty aka "aunt Patty" looking at some complicated work on the computer.
Cub looks fascinated by whatever is on Aunt Patty's computer!
ReplyDeleteSteph
ReplyDeleteYou should take every bad, misfitty, craptastic, or mean thing that people do personally because its ALL your fault. If you were better, faster, smarter, more generous, or if you were as good as, say, me, in every way, then no bad things would ever happen. I mean the world is full of reasonable people isn't it? Full of good drivers? Considerate neighbors? Grateful customers? Environmentally conscious non-polluters? See what I mean...its all your fault because everyone else is damn near perfect.
Not really.
My studies show that the vast majority of humanoids suck and are completely ass-tastic most of the time. You are a beautiful person and it breaks my heart whenever one of the world's approximately 2.73 billion jackasses does or says something that hurts you. You don't deserve it. You are one of the few people I know who always takes the high road in difficult situations, always has a kind word for everyone, and who is always thinking of kind things to do in order to make the world a better place. This is also your achilles heel...most people (2.73 billion of them) only think of themselves and don't give a shit how that affects anyone else.
I would venture to guess that most aliens (not Mexicans, actually outer space aliens) are probably assholes too. Why should being from outer space make anyone nicer? Not only that but I bet they are super-bad drivers...I mean driving a UFO at warp speed while talking on your cell phone is a total recipe for disaster. You should count your lucky stars (haha - get it, stars, space reference?) that aliens don't need flooring or you would just have more a-holes on your hands.
So really, if you are able to follow my lightning-fast logic, you are probably one of the nicest, best, and kindest people in our whole galaxy. And, if you stop and add Thetans (see Scientology website and/or Tom Cruise for more information) you are one of the best people in the world, galaxy, and crazy-Ron Hubbard-conceived-fantasyland.
Remember that you are lucky to be married to Matt (well except when he goes on dung beetle rants which I find hilarious but you may find a little tiring), to have cute son like Cash (except for all those other comments I have written that say just the opposite about our favorite future felon), and to have a bestest friend like me who writes such uplifting and positive comments on your blog.
Honestly I think I could be the Tony Robbins for the next generation....I may start my own motivational speaking company. Although perhaps I should modify my motto from, "People Are Asstastic Shitbags Who Don't Deserve to Live" to something more "nicey". Will give it some thought. Do you want to help me market my new venture? You can be my 50/50 partner for the low low price of 1 million magic beans.
Love and hugs,
Your super-fantastic friend who thinks you are the "Best Person Ever (tm)"
Wow, you got the "Best Person Ever" moniker without having to send it to Liz as part of your mailing address. I'm not sure how that happened but I'm sure that once my dear wife sobers up she will realize her grave mistake and will amend her lengthy post by scratching out the "B" and replacing it with a "J". She'll come up with some reason why "Jest Person Ever" makes any sort of sense.
ReplyDeleteIn all seriousness I don't have any suggestions for how to not take things personally. Maybe you could distract yourself with some new nicknames for your next child? Ermahgerd? (look it up) Quinoa? (Who doesn't want a kid named after a species of Goosefoot? What is Goosefoot you ask? Look it up.) Pokey? Leg? Blister?
It will get better, hang in there and realize your awesomeness.