Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Things I Need To Do Now

I'm not preggers yet, but I figured I would start looking around at all the things that I won't be able to do or eat - just so that I can be prepared. I have oodles of friends who have recently had children, so some of these aren't that surprising to me - but some came as quite a shock (like hotdogs, really ?!!!?).

Here's a list of some things that I found:
  1. No smoking or being around people who smoke - generally not a problem for me.
  2. No drinking alcohol - not too big of an issue, but I do like the occasional box of wine.
  3. No illegal drugs - what? How will I cope with pregnancy?
  4. No taking some prescription drugs and some OTC drugs - what? Again, how will I cope with pregnancy AND work (the misfits)?
  5. No eating hotdogs - finally, an excuse not to eat my MIL's cooking (just kidding dear MIL).
  6. Avoid caffeine - this will be difficult.
  7. Avoid reptiles - honestly, how many people (pregnant or otherwise) do you really have to give this instruction to?
  8. Avoid fish - this will be even more difficult than (#6). Seafood (especially sushi) is at least a weekly meal for me.
  9. Avoid vitamin A supplements - ok, whatever.
  10. Avoid x-rays - generally not a problem for me - I hate the dentist and most other things medical.
  11. Avoid VDTs - I'm scared of this one, because I don't know what it is.
  12. Avoid microwaves - but I like my microwave.
  13. Do not use an electric blanket - not much of a risk living in Texas.
  14. Do not use a water bed - not much of a water bed person.
  15. Avoid drinking tap water - was this one started by the bottled water lobbyist?
  16. Avoid stress - HAH!! HAH!! HAH!!
  17. Avoid pesticides - sure, sounds like a good plan.
  18. Avoid fumes from paint, paint thinner and household cleaners - as though I need another excuse not to clean.
  19. Avoid raising body temperature - ok, so no getting sick.
  20. Avoid using sauna, hot tubs or taking long baths - now I understand why certain friends of mine don't want kids.
  21. Avoid cleaning a cat litter box - either Buttin will have to learn how to do this or our house will turn into a cat poop farm.
  22. No eating soft cheese - this sucks. I love soft cheese. Does the "cheese" in macaroni and cheese count as soft cheese?
  23. Raw eggs - a pretty big issue considering I eat my weight in cookie dough about twice a month.
  24. Avoid deli meats - not a problem for me, but it would be horrible for Buttin if men were the ones who got pregnant.
  25. Avoid Artificial Sweeteners - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! This will be most difficult of all - even more than sushi. Everyone knows that I have more than a slight addiction to Splenda. I'm quite certain when/if I get pregnant Splenda sales will drop by at least 42%.
Well, while I still can - I'm off to eat sushi, cheese and cookie dough at the reptile zoo and then I'm going to drink nothing but microwaved coffee, with splenda and Kahlua while hanging out with my drug addict smoker friends at the sauna.

4 comments:

  1. You don't have to give all that stuff up. THat is just "recommended". My mom drank, smoked, ate whatever she wanted, and probably sat in a hot tub every day and honestly my brothers and sisters and I are healthier than we deserve to be.

    Seems to me that you can be as careful as you want and things still might not turn out well for the baby or you can become a crack whore and the kid may wind up at Harvard. You just never know. Probably moderation in all things is the way to go. But what do I know, I am not a doctor (but I am a renowned scientist in my own mind) nor do I have kids. I just hate to see you worry about giving up so many things you love.

    Liz (aka: scientist extraordinare)

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  2. Steph-- I did the moderation thing. I did give up the alcohol and caffeine. (caffeine being the hardest) I still ate soft cheese after talking to the fromagie at my local gourmet foodie store who said that recommendation is only because most soft cheese aren't pasturized. Make sure you buy the pasturized stuff and you're fine.

    As for fish, yes you have to stop with the sushi. (SUCKS!) But, white fish is fine. You just have to avoid the steak-type fish that is high in mercury. In other words, all the tasty ones. LOL

    I stll ate deli meat, used my microwave, etc and my kid turned out perfectly healthy. (Even if he did come a little too early) ;)

    Christine

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  3. Wow, you've put some time into this! I guess that explains why my children turned out like they did.

    Fish, really? I wonder how all those people in foreign countries whose main source of protein is fish get by with that restriction.

    This list is a great start, but just wait until you do get pregnant. Then everyone will be telling you what their mother's cousin's roomate's in-law says needs to be added to your list.

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  4. When you get pregnant and have to give up Splenda your office of misfits will have to stay out of your way while you detox!
    Love - a misfit

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