The other night I was having dinner with Liz and she asked me what the misfits would do if I asked them to staple everything on their desk and bring it to me.
Out of 10 misfits, these would be the results:
5 would immediately run into a wall,
2 would staple a fellow misfit,
1 would just wipe everything off their desk and then use a crayon to write "I staple nuthin" on their desk,
1 would wonder why staples weren't coming out of the toilet; and
1 would bring me ham.
Seriously, these past couple weeks have been full of priceless misfit stories.
One misfit started a conversation with Buttin by saying, "I'm going to tell you what happened, just in case you get a call from the cops.". Shockingly, I don't think it's the first time we've heard that phrase.
Turns out he was doing a measurement when he was attacked by a dog, he kicked the dog, he was then attacked by the dog's owner and then he kicked the owner.
Here is a picture of Graby today. If you ask him, "where is your belly-button?" this is where he points. I think 9 out of 10 misfits would agree.
Ah the misfits. Can you imagine what your life was like before the misfits when you had a relatively stress free job working for someone else?
ReplyDeleteIt's a wonder to me that you aren't an alcoholic with all that you deal with at work. I wonder if one day Matt will find you curled up in a ball in your closet just rocking back and forth mumbling incoherently and drooling? If so I wonder if there is a rehab for business owners who have misfit employees?
If I were you I would start researching that pretty quickly and maybe make that rehab institute (if it exists) the recipient of one or more of your Filanthopy Friday gifts. You want to make sure you have an "in" in case things really get desperate.
Fashion tip: also see if they will let you pick out a straightjacket in a pretty fabric...you don't want to look ugly even if you are confined to a rubber room. That's just Fashion 101. You should be glad I read Vogue for all of my teen years because I have lots more good tips where that came from.
Your non-crazy friend,
Liz
Ahh misfits...it sounds a lot like working in HR (which I do). Good luck with that!
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