Buttin has this theory - it's impossible to have three bad work weeks in a row.
Buttin's theory is currently being tested.
In an effort not to dwell on bad stuff, I asked Buttin - What's one good thing that happened today?
Buttin: I came home.
Me: No, work related.
Buttin: I left work.
Me: No - at work.
Buttin: You gave me a hug.
Me: No, something to do with work, while at work.
Buttin: We got mail.
Yes, we did get mail.
Sadly, I don't think I can do much better. I got an email from a customer that had a smiley face on it. That was a good thing, I suppose.
Luckily, no matter how bad the day - Buttin and I get to come home to this face.
Tell Matt to look on the bright side - you may work with a bunch of misfits but at least you and he haven't committed any Federal crimes. Rod Blagojevich was convicted on 17 Federal counts today and faces 6 - 11 years in lockup. See? Now your day(s) at work don't seem so bad do they?
ReplyDeleteAlso, lets consider the life of a porn star - they do tons of drugs and have to let other people shove things up their butts. Your job, no matter how bad it is, is better than that.
Um let me see...oh, yeah, your life is better than that of aid workers in Third World countries who probably don't even have semi-working air conditioners in their homes. Also probably no running water either. Your life is better than that.
Your life is better than a plumber because you don't have to root around in raw sewage. Also you have properly fitting pants so you don't have to run around with "plumber's butt".
Your life is better than that of an untalented professional gambler who owes millions of dollars to the Mob. No one is likely to break your knees in your line of work...well, unless the misfits do so in some sort of bizarre workplace accident.
Your life is way better than that of the famed "un-action hero" Moluskman because Moluskman only has one foot and can only move about 2 inches per day.
Your life is better than any who has leprosy.
Your life is better than all those people on the show Hoarders who live in garbage with about a million cats. Oh wait, how many cats do you have again...?
Your life is better than that guy Andrew Zimmern whose job requires that he eat weird and disgusting shit that no one in their right mind would ever eat.
Your life is better than all those crazy bitches on the "Real Housewives" shows. You can't fix crazy no matter how much money you throw at it. That is just basic science.
Your life is better than Voldemort's because you won't get killed by Harry Potter.
Your life is better than anyone who doesn't have a marathon-running mom, a smart and curmudgeonly dad, the sweetest mother-in-law in the world, an awesome son named Cash, and a husband whose nickname is a clothing fastener.
And finally, your life is better than anyone who can't name me as their "best friend" and "boss of them".
Are you feeling better now?
If not, get a bottle of Titos and some ice and don't stop drinking until you pass out.