Friday, March 4, 2011

Filanthropy Friday

I started Filanthropy Friday as a way to give back and give thanks. However, many charities are (for lack of better phrasing) kind of depressing. So instead of being a celebration of my gratitude, Filanthropy Friday is sometimes a downer.

My fan (Liz) decided to research some fun (ish) charities and made some suggestions. This week, I donated to one of her suggested charities - The Critter Connection.

The Critter Connection is a non-profit group dedicated to the rescue and rehabilitation of abandoned and neglected guinea pigs.

I donated $10 to these little critters; however I want to know why these guinea pigs need rehab? Are guinea pigs the Charlie Sheen of the rodent species?

P.S. If any other fans (hi, mom!) have an idea, I'm open to other suggestions for Filanthropy Friday.

3 comments:

  1. How about Child Biters Anonymous? Hee-Hee!

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  2. I think your intentions were good here but I don't see your $15 contribution making much of a difference and here is why...

    Guinea pigs are really troubled creatures. A lot of people don't know that about 80% of guinea pigs are addicted to either drugs or fermented fruit. They are really the seedy underbelly of the rodent world.

    Did you know that the greatest killer of guinea pigs is not, as you might think, cats, but instead its VD? Yep, that is right, those little tramps literally "f--k like guinea pigs" and don't use protection despite the easy availability of very small condoms.

    The other thing to know about these tiny little menaces is that they are inveterate liars and sneaky thieves. That's probably why so many of them need to be rescued. I mean it's one thing for a human owner to put up with guinea pigs smoking pot in the bathroom and contracting syphilis but it's another thing entirely to wake up one morning and realize that all of your toothpicks, small jewelry, and car keys have disappeared. How many times can you call the BMW dealership to have your car re-keyed before it starts getting expensive and embarrassing?

    I am glad you gave some money to help these creatures but I have to say it's pretty much throwing your money away. With their tiny brains and stubborn attitude it's virtually impossible to rehabilitate a guinea pig within its lifetime (they only live for an average of 3 years and the average in-patient rehab is 3 months). These creatures are often referred to as the "lost causes" and "bad influences" of the animal kingdom. (New England Journal of Rodent Medicine 2007) The best you can do is keep your other rodents away from them so they don't get hooked on drugs, raped, or pimped out for a hit of crack.

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  3. Oh, and some of them are anorexic. For real. http://www.guinealynx.info/anorexia.html

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