This might be the start of a weekly tradition, we'll see.
Last week, my small business owner updates were quite popular. I frequently find myself telling stories about our misfits to my friends and family.
I'm going to TRY and reserve Mondays for misfit and small business owner stories.
Last week, my small business owner updates were quite popular. I frequently find myself telling stories about our misfits to my friends and family.
I'm going to TRY and reserve Mondays for misfit and small business owner stories.
Just to prove that I'm a good sport and equally deserving of the title, misfit, today's story will be about me.
Lost Keys
A few weeks ago I was at a committee meeting for a local trade association. I'm a committee chair, so I try to be as professional as possible (like, I shower the day of meetings).
We have the committee meeting at a local restaurant.
The meeting went wonderfully and at the end of it, I started looking for my keys. I have a big purse so I frequently lose my keys inside my purse. Soon, everyone on the committee (thankfully it was the December meeting so there were only 10 or so people in attendance) started to look for my keys.
Eventually I tell everyone to give up, I must have just left them inside my car. I often lay my keys down on the front seat when I'm collecting stuff from inside my car to bring into a meeting.
I walked out to my car with the staff liaison for the committee and as we're walking towards the parking lot, I notice my car headlights are on. I HAD LEFT MY CAR UNLOCKED AND RUNNING DURING THE ENTIRE MEETING!
Yup, I'm a misfit.
P.S. Merry Christmas to Liz.
OK, here's a picture of Cub (with his hair all in his face) & Buttin. I love taking pictures of the two of them. Buttin's going away for the next few days and I'm really going to miss him.
You are so lucky a serial killer didn't hide in your car just waiting to dismember you when you came out of the meeting. Or that a car thief (or me) didn't steal your car.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, if I had seen that you left your car running for an hour I would have driven it off just to teach you a valuable lesson: we don't live in Mayberry little girl. We live in a dangerous world so you should act accordingly.
Your New Years Resolutions should be:
1. Stop putting barrettes in Cash's hair.
2. Stop taking pictures of Cash with half eaten food all over him.
3. Try really hard to not let Cash play with garbage (even if you "washed" it first or if its really colorful garbage)
4. Don't buy and eat candy from strangers on the internet
5. Don't eat gum off the sidewalk (I dont know for sure if you have done this or not but just to be safe I am tossing this one into the list).
6. Don't leave your car running when you get out of the car for crying out loud. I am so sad I have to have this on the list but your post is evidence of the remedial level at which I must start my lectures.
7. Don't let Cash play in traffic (it's inevitable that you will take a photo of Cash narrowly missing being run over by a car while he toddles down the street and the caption on the photo will be something like "Cash going for his first jog")
8. Don't let Cartman touch Cash. Not even a tiny bit.
9. Don't buy magic beans from anyone. Ever. They aren't magic and they may not be beans but for sure you are going to feel really dumb when you try to plant them and no magic happens. Just saving you some disappointment.
I will work on more resolutions for you but I am starting to wonder if maybe you need full time supervision from maybe a former nun or a prison warden? I mean I just don't have the time to manage your life the way I want to. Just when I think we are making some progress you backslide by leaving the car running - the only thing worse would have been if you had left a giant suitcase full of money in the car.
Managing the spreadsheet of grievances on Cash's behalf takes up at least 20% of my waking hours. I have had to actually start giving the grievances ratings from 1 - 10 (10 is the most serious infraction) just to keep up with your parenting mistakes. I will have a full presentation prepared for you in the next few weeks. It will include a strategic plan for improving your parenting, a list of areas in which you could improve (all), a list of sins for which you can never make up no matter who hard you try (unless you give me money), and a list of potential therapists for Cash. We need to get him some help right away before he starts committing felonies.
PS: Thanks for posting this. It is like Christmas came early for me. I could do a whole standup routine just based on this post. Sadly I am too lazy to take my act on the road so I will continue to perform just for you. Lucky Stephanie!