The Texas Board of Education has been featured in the news recently (to be fair, my news consists mostly of msnbc.com and The Daily Show) for the passage of new text book curriculum requirements (for history). I guess the logic goes something like, because Texas is so large, Texas often determines what goes in text books for other states too. I wrote about this topic many, many months ago (I think before I even knew I was pregnant), so I'm not going to rehash all my feelings on some of the ammendments (ridiculous as they are).
Buttin and I were watching Bill Maher the other night as he was discussing this issue and he made an interesting point. He said (and I haven't done any research to verify his claim) studies show that parental involvment has more to do with a student's success than the type of school they attend or the exact curriculum they're learning. This sounds very logical and reasonable to me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though I strongly disagree with some of our school board's decisions (even as impressive as a dentist's opinion might be), I'm going to try not to sweat it. Buttin and I (and all of Lumpy's aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends) will also educate Lumpy. Lumpy's not just going to learn with text books. Lumpy's going to learn to THINK by reading real books, listening to music, watching movies and TV (especially the good shows like Law & Order) and talking to other people. These are my hopes anyway.
Buttin and I were watching Bill Maher the other night as he was discussing this issue and he made an interesting point. He said (and I haven't done any research to verify his claim) studies show that parental involvment has more to do with a student's success than the type of school they attend or the exact curriculum they're learning. This sounds very logical and reasonable to me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though I strongly disagree with some of our school board's decisions (even as impressive as a dentist's opinion might be), I'm going to try not to sweat it. Buttin and I (and all of Lumpy's aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends) will also educate Lumpy. Lumpy's not just going to learn with text books. Lumpy's going to learn to THINK by reading real books, listening to music, watching movies and TV (especially the good shows like Law & Order) and talking to other people. These are my hopes anyway.
Don't worry, studies show that children only learn enough from textbooks to pass their tests and promptly purge all information during summer vacation. Just talk to my kids in July.
ReplyDeleteI can guarantee that Uncle Mark will make sure that Lumpy is aware of enough historical events to at least play Trivial Pursuit. What else matters?
Lumpy will think whatever I teach him/her to think. To hell with the schools.
ReplyDeleteLumpy will also become an expert on TV shows including Seinfeld, Law & Order, Criminal Minds, Burn Notice, the Office, the Closer, and CSI Miami & NY which are all an important part of understanding that the world is an evil place and that getting in cars with strangers is a bad idea. Also taking candy from strangers is a bad idea - Stephanie, I think you know what I am talking about.
Lumpy will not start reading pedantic stories like "See Dick Run" but instead will learn to read the complete works of Dr. Seuss and then will move on to Alice in Wonderland, the Harry Potter Series, and selected essays by Friedrich Nietzsche. Lumpy will have to pass a verbal test on Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead" if he/she wants to enjoy any birthday cake on his/her all-important 2nd birthday.
Lumpy will also learn all the words to the movie Raising Arizona and will learn to do the "Time Warp" before he/she can walk. In addition, we will study the fundamentals of Plato, supply side economics, and Machiavelli before he/she hits the second grade.
Lumpy will also be expected to learn to open bottles of wine (the kind with corks) by the time he/she is 4 years old. I think by age 3 he/she should be able to make Aunt Liz her "Liztini's (I will supply the smaller bottles of Tito's to accommodate small hands).
After that we will begin phase 2 of my Lumpy education/brainwashing plan which I will not get into on this blog simply because there isn't enough room and also there is a chance that someone from the Department of Children's Services might be reading this and I don't want a repeat of the infamous "San Francisco Incident".
Now I have to get back to creating a checklist of chores for Lumpy to do as soon as he/she learns to walk and can handle light carpentry, plumbing, and physics problems.