Michael Vick has apologized . . . blah, blah, blah. He's returning to the NFL to make bazillions of dollars. He should donate most of this money to animal welfare organizations and then a little to me because I've had to listen to all the coverage of his deplorable behavior and lame apologies. I wonder how many times I'll roll my eyes when I see his "Be Nice To Dogs" PSAs that will no doubt start appearing on TV any day now.
So maybe he is REALLY, REALLY sorry . . . only time will tell. Maybe we should forgive him (after all he certainly is a fun player to watch). Ironically, the creatures he harmed would be the first to forgive him - dogs are the best example of forgiveness on the planet.
Thankfully, I never witnessed dog abuse - although I was close. One evening (a couple years ago) my friend Liz & I were at an outdoor bar. There were a couple people next to us with two pit bulls. Liz & I (both being dog lovers) instantly wanted show the dogs love. When we got closer, we realized that even though they dogs were somewhat friendly - they were also skittish and had very obvious and open wounds. We asked (very politely and naively) what happened to their dogs, and the owners told us some cock and bull story about the dogs jumping over barbed fences and fighting dragons or some other nonsense. I don't think Liz & I realized what we had just seen until we returned to our drinking husbands. The thought of those two dogs still gives me the chills.
I really do hope that Michael Vick never, ever does anything even close to harming a dog again, but if he does - here is my punishment plan:
1. Take all his money away (and give it to animal charities)
2. Throw him in prison, forever.
3. Tie him down to the cold floor and allow Cartman to lick him continuously with his pee, barf and cat poop breath; and
4. Allow people to walk by and taunt him and poke him with sticks.
I'm sure there's worse - so let's call this Phase I.
For now, I'm going to think nice, forgiving thoughts about Michael Vick. Hopefully, he's learned his lesson and will just stick to playing football for a team I care nothing about.
So maybe he is REALLY, REALLY sorry . . . only time will tell. Maybe we should forgive him (after all he certainly is a fun player to watch). Ironically, the creatures he harmed would be the first to forgive him - dogs are the best example of forgiveness on the planet.
Thankfully, I never witnessed dog abuse - although I was close. One evening (a couple years ago) my friend Liz & I were at an outdoor bar. There were a couple people next to us with two pit bulls. Liz & I (both being dog lovers) instantly wanted show the dogs love. When we got closer, we realized that even though they dogs were somewhat friendly - they were also skittish and had very obvious and open wounds. We asked (very politely and naively) what happened to their dogs, and the owners told us some cock and bull story about the dogs jumping over barbed fences and fighting dragons or some other nonsense. I don't think Liz & I realized what we had just seen until we returned to our drinking husbands. The thought of those two dogs still gives me the chills.
I really do hope that Michael Vick never, ever does anything even close to harming a dog again, but if he does - here is my punishment plan:
1. Take all his money away (and give it to animal charities)
2. Throw him in prison, forever.
3. Tie him down to the cold floor and allow Cartman to lick him continuously with his pee, barf and cat poop breath; and
4. Allow people to walk by and taunt him and poke him with sticks.
I'm sure there's worse - so let's call this Phase I.
For now, I'm going to think nice, forgiving thoughts about Michael Vick. Hopefully, he's learned his lesson and will just stick to playing football for a team I care nothing about.
I have no nice or forgiving thoughts about Michael Vick. No one accidentally tortures and kills animals. You have to have some deep seated problems and, perhaps, be a sociopath to hurt the most innocent and helpless among us. I will never buy the argument that somehow dog fighting is a cultural phenomenon unique to certain communities or ethnic groups or that Vick should be forgiven for a "mistake". That is just B.S. (this applies to rapper DMX too who was busted in AZ for dog fighting) Here is my punishment plan for Michael Vick:
ReplyDelete1. Complete all 4 stages of Stephanie's punishment plan (except he has to be out of prison for the rest of this so let's let him out on parole).
2. Drive him to West Texas desert.
3. Dig a hole and bury him up to his neck.
4. Pour honey all over his head.
5. Pour a giant bucket of fire ants on his head.
6. When he seems almost dead, douse him with gasoline.
7. Light match and drop it on his gasoline/honey/ant soaked head.
8. Drive as fast as you can from the scene of the crime.
9. Host a "Michael Vick Got Eaten By Fire Ants and Then His Carcass Was Set on Fire Party" and charge $20 for people to attend.
10. Donate proceeds from the party to the ASPCA.
The end.