Evidence Of A Bad Kitty

I like to make meals with biscuits. It's not very creative, I just throw biscuits in a pan and either put in cheese or cinnamon sugar or peanut butter - whatever sounds good.

I can never eat all the food I make, so I usually leave it on the counter and give it to Molly after it cools off.

Well, last Sunday (after eating my biscuits) - I went into the kitchen and found that all the tops had been eaten off the biscuits.I assumed that the perpetrator of this crime was Scratch. He's the cat who enjoys people food the most and he's also chubby.

Well, I made cheesy biscuits today and look what we found:
The bad kitty is Peenie! Peenie NEVER even comes inside the house, but we caught him/her with paws in the biscuit jar (or pan). Sorry Scratch.

Weekly Workout Summary

My weekly workout summaries are becoming kind of lame. It's difficult to spend more than two sentences describing my fascinating adventures in jog waddling. I actually did meet an interesting (and by interesting, I mean kind of creepy) kid while jog waddling this week - I'll save those stories for another post.

I jog waddled about 12 miles this week, although it's becoming more waddle and less jog, which I suppose is OK.

I am starting to get very jealous of runners I see. I think I've spent enough time not running to really miss it. This gives me hope that one day, a couple months after Lumpy arrives, I'll start running again.

Thirty Second Movie Review - The Crazies

The Crazies

Very entertaining crazy-infection movie. Not overly gory, but certainly not for the faint of heart. Like most other good zombie-type movies - no happy ending here.

Fetus Friday - Week 35

I remember when I first found out I was pregnant, Lumpy's birthday seemed like something SO FAR in the future. I know the last couple of weeks I've mentioned time going by quickly, but it really has, and as I think about how Lumpy will be here in less than 6 weeks - I am both extremely excited and extremely petrified.

Baby Center has this to say about Lumpy:

Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds. Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same.

Lumpy's movements have become very odd feeling. Instead of the normal kicks and punches; Lumpy is stretching and jabbing. Sometimes I actually have to poke Lumpy's foot down because it's protruding so far out. My stomach now moves in waves and it kind of freaks Buttin out.

Baby Center has this to say about me:

Your uterus — which was entirely tucked away inside your pelvis when you conceived — now reaches up under your rib cage. If you could peek inside your womb, you'd see that there's more baby than amniotic fluid in there now.

Well, this certainly makes sense considering all the weird movements I'm feeling. I certainly feel like my torso is ALL LUMPY.

Small Business Owner Stories

My mom thinks that I should write more about being a small business owner. (For some reason, as I read this, "small business owner" looks very funny to me - Buttin and I own a small business, but we're not tiny people who own a business.)

I certainly find this part of my life to be rewarding (albeit very frustrating, heartbreaking and nerve wracking, at times), but I'm not sure how interesting it is for others (I'm also not sure how fascinating my friends find hypnobabies and jog waddling, but I still talk about those two things a bunch).

Well, I'm going to attempt to give more updates about our little flooring company (no, I never thought when I was training to be the next Katie Couric that I would one day sell carpet). So, here's my first little "SBOS".

Finally, Some Very Good News

I don't mean the title to imply that we don't get some good news everyday, but with the economy the way it has been in the last year (we just took over 1.5 years ago) - really, really good news has been kind of difficult to come by.

We've had a couple pieces of excellent news in the last week.

First piece of good news:

A couple months ago, I briefly mentioned a sales presentation that myself, Buttin and Tubby-Tub (Barbie's husband) were doing. The presentation was to get on a vendor list of a large management company here in Austin. Well - we made the list! We're one of a few vendors on the list, but this opens up a big new market of potential customers. Needless to say, I did my silly, spazzy happy-dance in my office the day I found out.

The second piece of good news has less of an immediate impact, but is still good:

We are members of a local trade/professional association. As members, we try to stay active and attend meetings. As with most non-profits and associations it sometimes takes a very, very long time to make big decisions (there are always studies involved, lots of committee meetings, etc.). Well the association is looking to purchase a piece of land as an investment and to maybe one day build new headquarters.

The decision making process involved many factors, including; price, return on investment, potential for growth and many others. Well, the piece of land they're trying to purchase is less than a block away from where we just recently moved! This area of Austin is really set to explode in the next 2 - 5 years. We already thought this was the case, but it's good to hear from "official sources". It might be a little bit more of a hassle to get to and from work (because of the traffic), but by all accounts, we're in a VERY good area of town.

The End.

Wasn't that a good story? I hope this has made my mom happy.

Picture Of The Day

Yes! We had snow yesterday.


And yes, those are still Christmas lights hanging from our trees.

Raining Ice Pellets (and other less interesting news)

**Random updates, in no particular order and with no particular connection**

• No jog waddling this morning - it was raining ice pellets. I'll have to do weights or something this afternoon. I took the raining ice pellets to mean that I should probably sleep in and cuddle with the cats.

• I kind of missed Hypnobabies class last night. I did my relaxation CD (it's called "Special Place"), but I think Buttin kind of enjoyed the break. For Hypnobabies, we're supposed to come up with a special place that we can go to in our mind. The most relaxing, comfortable place in the world to me is my couch - isn't that boring? It makes for a rather unimaginative hypnobabies session - since I'm laying on my couch while thinking about my couch, but I guess that means I don't have to work very hard at visualizing my special place and can concentrate instead on my hypno-anesthesia (no laughing).

• My dear mother in law is coming into town this weekend and I hope she's OK sharing a bedroom with a room full of unorganized Lumpy stuff. I was thinking this morning that I really need to take an inventory of everything and then go shopping with my friend Jen for all the things that I still need.
  

• Today we're planning to run our Quick Books upgrade. This is a task for Buttin. I'm quite certain, I would turn to Psycho-Stephanie if I had to do it.
  

Athletic vs. Creative

A week ago, I wrote about Smart vs. Popular.

I thought, I'd continue to write about the "would you rather" game as Lumpy's birthday approaches.

I can't remember from our conversation which side of the fence Buttin is on, but I think I may have convinced him of my view point.

If I had to make a choice for Lumpy - it would be Athletic.

I am certainly more athletic than I am creative; however, Buttin is probably more creative than athletic. I think part of my reasoning is that I would be more comfortable with a child more like me (kind of goes back to the whole Girl vs. Boy discussion).

I have creative moments, but if asked, I'm sure 9 out of 10 friends would agree that I fall more on the athletic side. I feel very strongly about the discipline being a student-athlete taught me. I'm grateful that even though my eating habits aren't always stellar (maybe you've heard I subsist on a diet mainly of fried cheese and Cadbury Eggs), I consider exercise (right now, jog waddling) to be an important part of my life.

As an athlete (especially in an individual sport, where a clock determined the winner), I learned many important lessons for life that I would also like for Lumpy to learn:

• Not everyone is equally good at everything; however, we all have strengths.
  
• Talent will only get you so far - you must practice, train and learn to manage your time.
• You do not need to brag about how good you are - the clock will do it for you.
• Sometimes even when you do EVERYTHING right, you don't win.
• Wining isn't everything.
• Competition is healthy.
  
• Mental toughness is as (if not more) important than physical ability.
  
• Be a gracious loser, but an even more gracious winner.
  

I'm sure there were several more lessons that I learned, but this is a good start for Lumpy.

I just really hate the whole, "we're all winners" parenting style that seems to be more popular now (Buttin calls it the "pussification of our youth"). Read any article about Generation Y and they were all coddled a little too much for my taste.

I'm sure that being creative - you learn some valuable life lessons too - some of which, I probably missed. However, my choice for Lumpy would be athletic.

Weekly Workout Summary

This week, I was back on the jog waddle wagon and I felt a ton better.

I still seem to be fighting a cold (or maybe it's allergies), but we've had some pretty, sunny days and it's been nice to jog waddle in the morning and in the evening. I also managed to do a couple weight workouts, so it was a very successful week.

Austin News

A long, long time ago I was going to be a famous broadcast journalists -the next Katie Couric (but the fun Today Show Katie Couric, not the weird CBS anchor Katie Couric). In college, I did a couple internships at local Austin TV stations. It is kind of a running joke that the news in Austin consists of the weather or football. I have a resume tape of me doing stories on just HOW HOT it was during that particular summer. I would take a bouquet of flowers, put them in a hot car and see how long they would take to wilt, I would snap twigs to show how dry it was - I was very clever. With all these fun stories about the heat and the lack of rain, my resume tape was kind of boring.

I love that Austin news is so predictable. Austin is large enough to provide everything I need, but we don't have a high crime rate and nothing very interesting happens.

Well, this week we had some rather dramatic news in Austin. A man purposely crashed his small plane into a building about three miles away from my house. The plane caused a tremendous amount of damage, left many injured and one dead (not including the pilot).

The traffic around the building has been crazy for the last couple of days, but I finally drove by it on Friday and it's my picture of the day:

Here is another picture, a little closer:

Thirty Second Movie Review - Crazy Heart

Crazy Heart

This movie was in Buttin's top 10 list. It is certainly a top 20 for me. It is just a wonderful story - full of sweetness, humor and some drama. Also, I loved the music.

Thirty Second Movie Review - The White Ribbon

The White Ribbon

This movie won the Palm d'Or at Cannes Film Festival in 2009 and is nominated for two Academy Awards (one for best foreign language film). I was engaged by this film, but not entertained - I will probably never watch it again. The movie is filled with so many horrible people and so many unsolved mysteries. It was like watching vignettes (some more interesting than others), that told pieces of a story, but you never got the entire picture.

Thirty Second Movie Review - Shutter Island

Shutter Island

This is a good movie, but I didn't enjoy it as much as Buttin did. I was expecting something a little more fun, but this movie is a serious drama (I almost cried) with some thrilling, horrific elements. It's just not what I was expecting for a Friday night movie.

Fetus Friday - Week 34

I really, really need time to slow down. It feels like I just wrote one of these Fetus Friday posts.

Baby Center has this to say about Lumpy's development this week:

Her central nervous system is maturing and her lungs are continuing to mature as well. If you've been nervous about preterm labor (ahem. . . birthing time), you'll be happy to know that babies born between 34 and 37 weeks who have no other health problems generally do fine.

I haven't really been worried about Lumpy coming early, but I will admit that it's nice to hit certain milestones. Twenty-Eight weeks was a big one and honestly, every additional week feels good.

Baby Center has this to say about me this week:

By this week, fatigue has probably set in again, though maybe not with the same coma-like intensity of your first trimester. Your tiredness is perfectly understandable, given the physical strain you're under and the restless nights of frequent pee breaks and tossing and turning, while trying to get comfortable.

I have started to feel a little more tired; however, I must say the slightly warmer weather and sunshine is helping. So far, sleeping has still been very easy for me - although, I don't think that's very surprising to anyone who knows me.

Icky Peenie

** Warning - Very Disgusting**

Sometimes I think the universe is trying to prepare Buttin and me for parenthood. A little over a week ago our outside kitty, Peenie, returned. Buttin and I were both very happy. That is, until yesterday morning when I went outside to take Cartman to the bathroom.

Peenie was outside waiting for breakfast (as usual) and there were little drops of stuff all over the ground. It took me a while to whipe the sleep from my eyes, but I quickly noticed that the stuff was dripping from Peenie's butt. At first I thought Peenie was injured and bleeding and then I thought maybe he/she had an ass blowout (abscess thing that animals sometimes get).

Here's the scene (see all the drips and clumps - those were coming from Peenie's butt).

OK, as if all this ass leaking wasn't horrifying enough for me at 5:30 in the morning - Cartman started to lick the spots! Ewe, Ewe, Ewe!! No matter how disgusting any other animal is - Cartman ALWAYS WINS!

As it turns out (Buttin did some disgusting detective work that I will not describe), the leaking was poop, not blood. Still very gross, but I'm not as worried for Peenie's health.

Like I said, I think the universe is preparing us for the many disgusting things that await us once Lumpy arrives.

Doctor Appointment Update

I had another rather uneventful appointment with Dr. Elephant this morning.

Here are the highlights, in bullet point form:

• Dr. Elephant said it felt like he just saw me. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
  
• Weight gain - 2 lbs. Still not up to my post-holiday weight and that's OK by me.
  
• Blood pressure - 116/72. Just perfect.
• I'm still measuring small, but the last ultrasound results (from two weeks ago) show that Lumpy is in the 50th percentile for height and weight and fluid levels look perfect.
• Dr. Elephant said that tall women sometimes carry very deceptively, but that small babies make for easier birthing times (he actually said delivery, but I'm changing it for Hypnobabies purposes).
• My next appointment is March 4th.
  

I'm Going To Be Famous

This afternoon Buttin and I were interviewed by Cathy O'Neill for a book she is writing (with her two friends) on marriage & pregnancy. I feel quite certain that this exposure will catapult me to the level of fame and fortune that I so richly deserve.

Cathy is the co-author of Babyproofing Your Marriage and she knows my Doula. The book she is currently working on is called (I think) Bumped! Nine Months That'll Rock Your Marriage and when our Doula asked if we wanted to help - I thought "sure", so long as it doesn't interrupt the two most important things in my life - eating Cadbury Eggs and napping. Cathy came by the office this afternoon and distracted us from work, which is always nice - she also told me I "looked small" which earned her my never-ending admiration and a hug.

The interview was relatively short (only about an hour or so), but it was kind of fun to talk about how our marriage has changed during pregnancy. I don't think couples spend a lot of time talking about their marriage or how they feel about impending parenthood (especially not with strangers). It was very interesting hearing Buttin's perspective on things and even though I think I'm Psycho-Stephanie, he was expecting MUCH worse. It's weird, but it was kind of sweet.

She asked questions about our preparations for after Lumpy arrived and about how we found out we were having Lumpy. It's kind of funny, but Buttin and I have two completely different recollections on how we found out about Lumpy, but luckily I wrote the story down and published it on my little blog. I think my recollection is more right, but I'm not keeping score (apparently, that's a chapter in the Babyproofing your marriage book - but I'm not supposed to read the book for another few months).

Sadly, I don't think that we were very helpful to Cathy. I think that she needs couples with a little more drama. An advice book with examples of boring people like us probably doesn't make for very interesting reading. Her book is scheduled to come out next Spring. Buttin thinks that he is highly quotable and will have at least an entire chapter devoted to his wisdom - we'll see.

As a thank you gift, she gave us a signed copy of her first book. It's my picture of the day!

Acting The Part & Postpartum

**Read At Your Own Risk - Post Does Contain Yucky Stuff**

Last night was our 6th and final Hypnobabies class. Kind of sad. Like the end of an era. OK - maybe I'm being a little dramatic, but it does feel weird that six weeks has gone by and now I'm supposed to be "ready"for Lumpy to come - I'm so not ready.

Last night was probably my least favorite class - mostly because we didn't get to do any relaxation exercises. However, I did get my back tickled and that was awesome. We spent half the class doing a birth rehearsal where I got into various positions (birth ball, laying down, hands and knees, etc.) and practiced hypnosis while in a pretend birthing wave. During my pretend birthing wave, Buttin or Doula would tickle my back or push on pressure points. Some of these were very strange pressure points, like my butt bone - who woulda thought? Then I got into pushing positions and pretended to push using the "ahhh" breathing technique. Honestly, I felt kind of silly. I'm not very good with people just starring at me while I pretend to do something - guess I wouldn't have made a very good actress.

The second half of class was spent discussing all of the crappy postpartum stuff, which sounds about a million times worse than anything that could possibly happen during birth. Here are just a few choice things I can look forward to:

• Lochia - vaginal discharge that's caused by the uterus shedding blood and tissue. This can last for up to SIX WEEKS - Yuck!
• Perineum soreness - As treatment, I might have to sit on one of those doughnut pillows.
  
• Constipation - Fun!
• Hemorrhoids - Double Fun!
• Night sweats - sounds like fun in the summer, in Texas.
• Swelling - oh swell!
• Postpartum depression - not good.
  

I wonder if all this potentially bad stuff happens after birth because your body figures - hey, you have a sweet little baby and that sweet little baby cancels out all the bad stuff and you won't really think about it because you're loving your baby. Lumpy, you'd better be one sweet little baby!

We also spent a good 20 minutes talking about breastfeeding (and all the things that can go wrong and right). I'm very pro-breastfeeding and I hope it works out, but I'm not going to beat myself up about it. My real goal is to be able to start pumping within a month or so after Lumpy's arrival so that Buttin (and grandmas) can help feed.

All in all, I've really enjoyed Hypnobabies. I know that I have lots of practicing to do in the next few weeks and honestly I think having my doula over every week kept me honest. I'm going to miss seeing her EVERY week, but it's now up to me and Buttin to practice, practice, practice!

Sometime during the last couple weeks of March, we'll see Doula again when she comes back to our house for our final pre-birth meeting. I'm OK with time taking its sweet time - right now, I'm in no hurry for March.

Popular vs. Smart

As parenthood rapidly approaches, Buttin and I often find ourselves engaged in conversations about Lumpy's possible features and personality traits. Of course, our only real wish is for Lumpy to be happy and healthy.

We play the, "would you rather" game with Lumpy. For example, "Would you rather Lumpy be popular OR smart?" I thought I would share some of our thoughts on this topic with the complete understanding that parenting is kind of a crap-shoot and we have very little control over Lumpy.

OK, so - Popular or Smart? I know that some kids are both popular and smart, but how the game works if you have to pick one over the other. I think that the politically correct answer that you say publicly is SMART. It was a difficult decision, but we agreed on popular.

We have many friends who are both extremely popular and smart. I'm guessing they would pick smart. I think it's easy when you go through life popular to pick intelligence over popularity; however, we think (with all of our parenting experience) that it's easier to go through life a little more on the popular side than the smart side. My life experience has taught me that you get a little more (and get away with a little more) if you're well-liked. If your a people-person things just seem a little easier.

Of course, we want Lumpy to be smart. We've actually told each other that if Lumpy is anything like Heidi or Spencer Pratt we will ship him/her off to another country (and not a fun country).

Weekly Workout Summary

This week of jog waddling was not so great. I did about 10 miles total (but two of those were from today while watching my mom run the Austin Half Marathon), but that wasn't really enough. I was sick and the weather wasn't cooperating and by Friday I could certainly feel that mentally I needed some kind of release (Barbie and Patty heard me not so happily discussing things with Austin Energy on the phone).

Today was a fantastic Valentine's Day of watching my mother beat my best time in the Austin Half Marathon. She's getting so speedy - even with all those hills. I admit that watching all the runners made me want to run in a race again - and I will. Here's Momsy before she started the race - she's just so cute!


So, one tiny story from the race. I was trying to be a supportive spectator, so I cheered my mom off the start line and then walked back to the car. On my walk back, I REALLY had to pee (maybe you've heard - I'm pregnant). So, I find an Extended Stay Hotel and go into the lobby and ask if I can use their restroom. She says, "No, we don't have public restrooms.". Realizing that I may have looked a little homeless - I take the hood from my sweatshirt off and try to stick out my belly a little more and say, "I'm pregnant and I really have to pee." Again, she said, "No public restrooms." As I huff and puff out of there, I make a vow to NEVER stay in that hotel - not that I ever would, but that's not the point.

I eventually made it to a McDonald's to pee. I tried to watch my mom at one point on the course, but she must have sped by me too quickly because I never saw her and I know she ran by my location. Oh well. Good job Momsy - I'm so proud of you!

Tried To Have A Cookie Review

Buttin and I tried to see The Wolfman today, but the projection & sound system just weren't cooperating.

At one point, we could see the movie, but couldn't hear it. I decided to provide my own sound effects and dialogue - for Buttin's sake. Buttin kept pulling away from me like he was embarrassed - I guess this is what Lumpy will do one day too. I'm going to be THAT mom.

So, instead of watching The Wolfman, I'm now watching ski jumping. Ski jumping seems like a fun thing to do (although far too dangerous for me, I fall walking in my own house), but it's difficult for me to see it as a sport. What kind of athleticism does jumping off a hill take? It really just seems like who can fall off a hill the furthest. How does one even determine that they're good at ski jumping? Do you start off on a really small hill? Because, it seems like if you don't land properly you could really injury yourself? Maybe it's the landing that takes the athletic ability. What if you have to go to the bathroom, but you're trapped in that unitard suit? So many questions about ski jumping. Oh well, Buttin just came home so now we're playing a video game - I guess I'll have to get my questions answered when they jump the "bigger" hill - hopefully, I'll be able to watch that event.

Fetus Friday - Week 33

Today, I kind of woke up on the grumpy side of the bed. It's good that it's Fetus Friday, it forces me to focus on the important things in life, like Lumpy - instead of the unimportant things, like silly misfit behavior.

Baby Center has this to say about Lumpy's development:

He's rapidly losing that wrinkled, alien look and his skeleton is hardening. The bones in his skull aren't fused together, which allows them to move and slightly overlap, thus making it easier for him to fit through the birth canal.

I'm happy to know that Lumpy is looking more like a baby and less like an alien.

I did notice while watching the birth videos on Monday night, that poor Lumpy's skull is going to look pretty squishy and funny looking after birth. Poor Lumpy.

Baby Center has this to say about me:

Whereas before you were sashaying, you may find yourself waddling. Finding an easy position to sit in — let alone sleep — is becoming more of a challenge. And bumping into chairs and counters is par for the course.

Really? Week 33? I think I've been experiencing the waddle since about week 28 and I've been bumping into chairs and counters my entire life.

Sick, Rainy Jog Waddles & Sales Tax Audit

All of these things suck.

My sniffles seem to wax and wane. I'm not sure if I'm waxing or waning right now (I'm not a moon scientist), which ever means "bigger" or "more".

This weather really does seem to be fighting my every attempt to jog waddle on a consistent basis. This morning, I was in a bunch of layers so I didn't really feel the rain - except for all of the cold water coming in through my shoes. My feet were freezing and I could only manage one little mile. However, the movement did help break up all the mucus in my nose, I think.

Of all these things, the Sales Tax Audit is the worst. We FINALLY (after only about 3 months) received the request for information the auditors need to complete their audit (keep in mind, this was supposed to have been done BEFORE Thanksgiving). In my opinion, they're asking for some pretty ridiculous stuff, but thankfully my aunt will be here to rescue me from psycho-Stephanie. So, I'm going to stay calm, try to breathe with my mouth and maybe jog waddle again this evening.

Penelope Is Back!

A while ago, I wrote about Penelope our outside stray cat.

Well, Penelope (we call him/her Peenie for short) has been absent for a couple of months. Buttin and I worried about Peenie, but figured he/she had found another house that served better cat food.

Happily, Peenie came back yesterday! He/She was meowing for food in the normal way , but looked VERY, VERY skinny. We figure Peenie either had kittens (and is a girl) or was trapped under a very large piece of furniture for a couple of months.

Peenie is looking a little rough, but we'll get Peenie fattened up soon.

My Hero & The Worst DVD Ever

Last night was our 5th (out of 6) Hypnobabies classes. I can't believe how quickly time flies.

The majority of last night's class was spent reviewing Buttin's duties during the birthing time (remember, we don't call it "labor" in Hypnobabies). Buttin is my Hypno-guardian! Here is an artist's rendering of Buttin as my superhero (his hands look a little funny, but don't blame the artist).

We were given a sign to place on our hospital room door asking everyone who enters to please be quiet and positive. (As a side note, I would actually love it if my friend Liz made me a hospital door sign - it would be a lot more comical, but maybe less friendly. She makes signs for her own front door threatening bodily injury to solicitors.) We were also given a sheet to give to our hospital care providers regarding the proper Hypnobabies language, although I'm guessing it's a lot to ask someone to completely change their terminology just for me. I'm actually OK with whatever words they want to use, so long as they keep Lumpy and me safe.

The other part of our night was spent watching this AWESOME DVD of actual hypno-mommies during their birthing time. I think that no matter what kind of birthing classes you attend - it's a given that the DVD you watch will have been made sometime in the late 70s or early 80s. Buttin said he was offended by the DVD. I asked him if it was too graphic (we got to see EVERYTHING) and he said "No, I'm offended by the production value.". The mothers were actually using WALKMANS to listen to their hypnosis tracks. I think the last time I listened to a walkman, I was maybe 10 years old. The narration for the DVD was very unscripted and you just kind of felt like the lady was making it up as she watched the video with you. Honestly, my movies have a higher production value.

Production quality aside, all of the women seemed very relaxed (of course, they're not going to show me any screaming women in a pro-hypnosis class) and it made me feel confident that I can do this! Although, I must admit my confidence comes and goes depending upon my mood. I need lots more practice with my hypno-guardian hero.

Interviewing Potential Lumpy Doctors

My mom likes to tell me that babies are pretty indestructible. Even in my mom's baby book - her mother (my Bubie) wrote that she almost killed my mom no less than four times. This makes me feel a little better about impending parenthood, but sometimes I can feel a little overwhelmed.

Today, Buttin and I went to our first pediatrician "meet & greet". We need to have Lumpy's doctor picked out before I enter the hospital - so with only eight weeks to go - I thought it was time to get a move on.

As with the hospital visit, I felt like I was the least far along of all the mothers-to-be and this either makes me well-prepared or a control freak (possibly a little of both).

We met with the doctors at North Austin Pediatrics - we chose to meet with them first because they're right across the street from my hospital and have a very small, personal-attention kind of practice. We didn't really get any one-on-one time with the doctors, but I liked all three.

I must say that if pregnancy takes reading one or two books for preparedness; motherhood takes a library. I left feeling a little overwhelmed with all the information and resources. My friend Ann got me the book Baby 411 at Lumpy's shower (the doctors actually recommend this book), so I'm hoping that's a nice Cliff's notes version of many books.

Even with all these resources, it's good to know that babies are pretty resilient and that even though my grandmother almost killed my mother several times - she made it to adulthood just fine. I'm sure I'll have several more posts (as Lumpy's arrival draws near) about all the things I'm reading (and stressing about) regarding parenthood.

A Little Sick

Despite all my efforts (which consisted of eating Cadbury Eggs and Girl Scout Cookies), I still managed to catch whatever little cold bug is going around right now.

I felt pretty crummy this morning, but after a shower and some medicine - I feel considerably better. I'm going to get some work done in case I need to go home early today, so I'll blog more later.

Weekly Workout Summary

A couple weeks ago, I decided to start an experiment. As a quick re-cap, I had been feeling increasingly hormonal (go figure!) and my hypothesis was that if I did a little more cardio and tried some visualization techniques I would be better able to cope with stress and hormones (like I was during my first 20 weeks of pregnancy).

So, this week - I actually jog waddled a rather pathetic 11 miles (although in one of my jog waddles, I did a very speedy 2 miles in 31 minutes) did one weight workout and spent at least an hour visualizing long, slow runs.

The weather doesn't always seem to cooperate with my desire to jog waddle (it's been rather rainy), but I really prefer the outside air to going to the gym. I looks like this week I may actually have to go to the gym, the forecast calls for more rain and colder temperatures.

So - what (if anything) have I discovered from my experiment?

Overall, I think the experiment was successful. I generally seemed a little less quick to anger and a little better able to cope with the normal stresses of life. I think if you polled the people I'm around on a daily basis they would say I seemed much happier the last couple of weeks than I was the previous two weeks. It's not a very scientific measurement, but I have felt better and that's what is most important.

I plan to continue to jog waddle, elliptical, do weights and visualize long runs as much as possible from now till the end of my pregnancy. I will report my progress every Sunday during my Weekly Workout Summary.

Twice In One Day!

My normal pregnancy wardrobe has consisted of stretchy pants, a t-shirt, a sweatshirt and flip flops (running shoes if it's raining or really cold).

Well yesterday, I broke some kind of personal record and wore TWO DRESSES in one day! My first dress was for Lumpy's shower and the second was for a wedding.

Here I am before the wedding, with coat and without:

Lucky & Loved Lumpy

Today I was the guest of honor at Lumpy's baby shower. The shower was hosted by two amazing women, Liz & Jen.

If this party is any indication - Lumpy is one loved little baby (I think the general consensus is that Lumpy is a girl).

I thought that I would give out a few awards. In honor of my friend Liz, I'll call the awards - The Vodka Bottle (although, I'm not actually giving everyone a bottle of vodka).

The Vodka Bottle for the Best Food Item - Cupcakes and Truffles by Nicole from Delysia Chocolatier.


These cupcakes were almost too cute to eat (almost), but I still managed to eat one and a half. Barbie could only eat half her cupcake (I would be disappointed in her, but it's difficult because she gave the other half to me). One of the favors the guests took home were truffles - aren't the boxes cute?

The Vodka Bottle for the Most Valuable Guest - my friend Suzin.


Suzin and I used to work together and I think she got everyone at the office to get Lumpy a gift. Seriously, she's a good person to know for many reasons - but to have her persuasion skills is a true gift.

The Vodka Bottle for Guest Most Likely to Make Fun of Me - my mother.

We got around to discussing Hypnobabies and when I said, "In Hypnobabies, we don't call them contractions; we call them birthing waves." she laughed so hard, she cried (and she may have peed herself - I'm spreading that rumor)

The Vodka Bottle for Fashionably Late Guest(s) - Shannon (nana) & Colleen (weenie).

I've been waiting on the two of them since I was about eleven years old. They did have to drive from Houston and they got a little lost, but I don't think they would be Nana & Weenie if they weren't a little late.

The Vodka Bottle for Gift That Took The Longest To Open - Patty (on left). Barbie (on right) should win the Vodka Bottle for Sharing With A Pregnant Lady - I mean, no one else offered me half of their cupcake, selfish guests.


Patty got Lumpy and I no fewer than fifteen gifts including, Lumpy's first , second, third and fourth books, lots of candy for me and a bottle warmer for Buttin to use when he's feeding Lumpy while I'm asleep.

The Vodka Bottle for Most Needed Gift - My Aunt Laurie

She (my uncle, grandma & grandpa) got Lumpy the stroller and car seat travel system. They won't let you leave the hospital without a properly installed car seat, so I consider this gift to be pretty important.

I am so thankful for all of my friends and family. Lumpy and I received so many awesome gifts and the shower was more than I could have ever imagined (I mean, we ate off china plates and had cloth napkins).

We didn't play any games at the shower (thankfully) but while everyone was eating, they wrote down little pieces of advice for me. The most popular piece of advice was to get lots of sleep now and once Lumpy gets here to sleep while Lumpy is sleeping. Liz also provided this gem, which I will leave you with, "Don't sweat petty things and don't pet sweaty things."

Fetus Friday - Week 32

Only 8 more weeks to go! Two of my wonderful friends, Liz & Jen, are throwing a Lumpy shower tomorrow and I can't wait. I'm sure there will be lots of pictures posted over the weekend!

Baby Center has this to say about Lumpy's development:

You're gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes right to your baby. In fact, she'll gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next 7 weeks as she fattens up for survival outside the womb.

Yeah! So now I can really say - I'm eating for Lumpy. If Lumpy's going to grow by half a pound a week - I'd better get to eating at least a couple pounds of Girl Scout cookies for the next few weeks. Actually, sweet Hallelujah, Cadbury Creme Eggs are out & wonderful Buttin bought me an entire box (of 48). I know that might sound like a lot, but trust me they'll probably be gone by Valentine's Day.
Baby Center doesn't really have anything interesting to say about me - just to be prepared for clumsiness, shortness of breath and heartburn. I think I mentioned in a previous Fetus Friday that I prefer not to read what may or may not happen to me during each week of pregnancy and just focus on the Lumpy part.

Lumpy Has My Cheeks!

Today we had our check up with Dr. Elephant.

Here are the highlights:

• I've gained zero pounds since my last visit a little over two weeks ago. I take this as a sign that I need to eat more Girl Scout Cookies.
  
• My blood pressure is still better than normal.
• I went over my birth plan with Dr. Elephant. He said everything looked good with the exception of food. I'll still have Buttin sneak me some snacks.

Now, for the fun part - I had another ultrasound this afternoon. Here are the highlights:

• Lumpy was head down!! (This is the first time Lumpy has not been breech)
  
• Lumpy is now 3lbs 11oz.
• Lumpy has a "beautiful" aortic arch according to the ultrasound technician.
• Lumpy's growth is right on track.

Now, for the best part. Lumpy has my cheeks. Think I'm I'm lying - just look for yourself.

Lumpy (face is looking right at the camera) has cheeks that appear to go out further than his/her forehead.



Here's me at a very young age storing all my baby fat in my cheeks.


I think the resemblance is undeniable.

Now Accepting Applications

We've been accepting applications for a carpet cleaning technician & I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Here are two of my favorite email submissions - completely unaltered by me (except I removed the names).

Number 1:

Hello, I would like to be your carpet cleaner. I know I am fit for the job. Please contact me at this email address if you have liked what you have read, Thank you Sincerely,

Number 2:

My name is _______. I am a Bible College and am interested in the Carpet Technician job. Here is my Resume.

Like I said, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. It might be fun to have someone who IS a Bible College come work at our little store, but I'm quite sure all the misfits would corrupt him.

No Verbal Filter

** Warning - contains disgusting stories from a complete stranger**

I don't know what it is, but when you're pregnant - people (strangers) just remove their filter and say whatever is on their mind (usually regarding my appearance or something about the baby).

You would NEVER go up to an overweight person and say, "Wow, you look so big.", but people do it to pregnant women all the time. For me, people usually tell me how small my stomach looks (which is starting to worry me & I plan to ask Dr. Elephant about it tomorrow), but I've also been told that my stomach looks so small because my hips are so wide (sounds like a compliment, but really it's not).

Well last night I had an experience with someone who had absolutely no verbal filter regarding pregnancy or babies - my massage therapist. I was really looking forward to my two hour massage, that is, until I realized that Talky McTalkison was my masseuse. Here are some key highlights from our conversation (in no particular order and with no transition, because honestly this woman would go from baby throw-up to trains in one breath):

• I look really small, but I'm probably carrying the baby more inside than out (not sure what this means).
• My hair looks dull, so I must be having a girl.
  
• My hips look like they're in an even, good position (this might be more of a massage therapist kind of thing to say, I'm not sure)
  
• Her son was full breech and enjoyed playing in her rib cage area.
  
• She's had two c-sections, one where she got "super glued" shut and the other where she had staples and two of her staples got infected.
  
• Her hospital wouldn't let her eat after her c-section until she had passed gas, so she told me the story of how she yelled down the hospital corridor, "I farted", when she had her daughter.
• Her son said in Krispy Kreme one day, "Mommy, that doughnut has a hole just like your vagina."
• Her birthing waves (yes, I had to use my Bubble of Peace many times during this experience) felt like really bad gas.
• When her son was an infant, he had explosive poop.
• When she had an IV put in, the anesthesiologist had to do it because the nurse tried unsuccessfully seven times.
  
• Her son can sit for hours and play with trains.
• Her daughter prefers the Nick Jr. over PBS TV programing.
  
• Her daughter never slept as a baby.
• Her son was jaundiced and had to have a baby tanning bed.
  
• An astrological reading told her she would have three children - girl, boy, girl - but she got started late so she "skipped" the first girl. Aside from that, everything from her astrological reading has come true.
  
• A male nurse taught her how to breastfeed (I'll spare you the details I got) and she had tons of milk for her son, but just the right amount for her daughter.
• She had one very mean nurse who wouldn't help her up to use the restroom.
• After she had her first child, she lost all sense of modesty and walked around her hospital room naked.
  
• Her son breastfed until he was 22 months old and her daughter until she was 14 months.
• Her son started walking at 11 months, but her daughter didn't start till 16 months.
• Apparently, when your child is ready to potty train you should just "go with it".
  
• She likes the paper underwear they give you in hospitals after you have a baby.
  

There were so many other things that she told me, but I think I blocked some of them from my memory. Apparently, seeing as I'm pregnant, she felt the need to tell me EVERYTHING about her pregnancies and her children. Honestly, I was virtually silent - she would just transition (rather ungracefully) from one topic to the next with no prompting from me. She was very, very sweet (and the massage itself was nice), but my goodness hearing about all this stuff was in NO WAY relaxing.

After the two hours were over - she said, "wow, that was the fastest two hours ever." Well, I'm glad it was for one of us.

Molly - Before & After

Before

After

Last week, Molly got a haircut and we brought her into work. Doesn't she look excited? I had her approving invoices in Buttin's office, but she looks rather bored (although cute, with the bows) doing this task.

Meet Melman

**As with all other Hypnobabies posts, proceed at your own risk.**

Melman is my birth ball. He's purple and smiley and will hopefully help me with pre-birth exercises as well during Lumpy's actual birth. After Melman has fulfilled his birthing duties - I can bring him over to Jen's house to do a good ab workout.

Last night in Hypnobabies we discussed the beginning of Lumpy's birthing time (it's not called labor in Hypnobabies). It was a relatively PG rated class - with only a brief mentioning of the mucus plug and bloody show. Here are some of the highlights:

• What to do in the early stages of birthing (prior to going to the hospital). Hypnobabies recommends that you have a task to do - like make cookies for the nurses, address Lumpy's birth announcements, work - I bet you can guess what I've selected for my task.
  
• Timing of the birthing waves (in Hypnobabies, they're not called contractions) and when we should go to the hospital. They recommend 4-1-1; birthing waves are 4 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute and have been occuring for 1 hour.
• What to expect when we get to the hospital. Thankfully, a lot of this was covered during our hospital tour last week.
• Creating the ideal birth environment (a lot of this will come later, when I write my birth plan).
  
• Ideal Lumpy positioning - I'm supposed to talk to Lumpy and say, "Head down, facing back, chin to chest!" This is not very stimulating mother/baby conversation, so I'll make sure to say other things to Lumpy too.
  
• How to use Melman!
  

One of my tasks this week is to write the first draft of our birthing plan. I also plan to share it with Dr. Elephant at my appointment on Thursday.

Quidditch Beats Fast Baseball

. . . And other reasons why Harry Potter is so much cooler/better/awesomer than Twilight.

A while back I wrote about how I was going to listen to Twilight (while running and now jog waddling) and refrain from sharing any gripes about Twilight until after reading (err. . . listening) to the book. Well, I have FINALLY finished.

Instead of doing just a quick thirty-second cookie review, I thought I'd provide some reasons why Harry Potter (the novel, the character, the everything) is far superior (not even in the same freaking league) to Twilight.

Extra-curricular activities:

• Harry Potter: Awesome Quidditch
  
• Twilight: Very fast baseball - I guess vampires (who have been alive for almost century) can only manage to play a slightly faster game of a relatively boring human sport.

Female role model:

• Harry Potter: Hermione is strong, driven, independent and super-smart.
• Twilight: Bella is not.
• Harry Potter: Hermione is intelligent, but she also work hard at school.
• Twilight: Bella seems to know the answers to questions because she already took the class at her old school, but she doesn't seem to take her school work very seriously nor does she seem particularly smart.
• Harry Potter: Hermione can take care of herself.
• Twilight: Bella always needs a man (or vampire man) to save her.
• Harry Potter: No shortage of female role models - including Hermione, Professor McGonogal, Lily Potter, Mrs. Weasley, etc.
  
• Twilight: No female role model.
  

Themes:

• Harry Potter: A mother's love conquers all saves Harry from an evil touch in the first book.
  
• Twilight: Women need to be rescued.
• Harry Potter: Good friends make you better.
• Twilight: Friends are nuisances and should be lied to.
  
• Harry Potter: True romantic love takes time to develop.
• Twilight: Falling in love happens over the course of five minutes.
  
• Harry Potter: Dangerous people are bad.
• Twilight: Only dangerous men are good for you.
  
• Harry Potter: Education is very important.
• Twilight: Teenage drama is the most important.

Climax:

• Harry Potter: Show down with an icky-looking Voldemort face coming out of the head of another professor.
• Twilight: Bella is unconscious during most of the climax and since the book is written in first person, we don't really know what happens.
  

Conclusion:

• Harry Potter: Harry has a long conversation with Professor Dumbledore to explain recent events.
• Twilight: Bella is in the hospital (again, having been rescued by a vampire man) and exchanges many "I luv yous" with Edward. Oh, and then she goes to prom.
  

If I had to give Twilight a number of cookies - I'd say ONE COOKIE.

It's not particularly well-written and I have no idea why any female over the age of 13 would find enjoyment in the story. Needless to say, I will not be reading the next book. I gave it a fair shot, really I did. Lumpy has the full collection of Harry Potter books ready to go, but I will not be purchasing the Twilight Saga.