Being the positive (and somewhat sarcastic) person that I am - I try to view all the stupid things our misfits do - as inspiration. Inspiration to write, inspiration to be a better person and inspiration not to commit murder - just to name a few.
Today, we got a phone call from a customer. It seems they had a missing stereo and our misfit crews were the last ones in the unit where the missing stereo had last been seen.
The following is a short story - partly true and partly fabricated (by me) - but all inspired by our misfits.
The Misfits & The Mystery of the Missing Stereo
One peaceful day at Carpet Warehouse, while Stephanie and Barbie were not eating donuts or misbehaving in any way - the phone rang.
"Hello, Carpet Warehouse - this is Barbie", Barbie answered, feeling icky (she had just stunk up the bathroom with a massive tummy shame).
"Hello, Barbie - this is Juanette from Awesome Apartments . I'm very mad. One of your misfits stole a stereo from unit number 262."
"Oh, no", exclaimed Barbie, "I'm on the case, Juanette, and I promise to get right back to you."
With that, Barbie immediately went to the bathroom (again) and then rallied the troops. Soon, she and her fellow misfit detectives, TA and TB, had narrowed the suspects down to three:
Today, we got a phone call from a customer. It seems they had a missing stereo and our misfit crews were the last ones in the unit where the missing stereo had last been seen.
The following is a short story - partly true and partly fabricated (by me) - but all inspired by our misfits.
The Misfits & The Mystery of the Missing Stereo
One peaceful day at Carpet Warehouse, while Stephanie and Barbie were not eating donuts or misbehaving in any way - the phone rang.
"Hello, Carpet Warehouse - this is Barbie", Barbie answered, feeling icky (she had just stunk up the bathroom with a massive tummy shame).
"Hello, Barbie - this is Juanette from Awesome Apartments . I'm very mad. One of your misfits stole a stereo from unit number 262."
"Oh, no", exclaimed Barbie, "I'm on the case, Juanette, and I promise to get right back to you."
With that, Barbie immediately went to the bathroom (again) and then rallied the troops. Soon, she and her fellow misfit detectives, TA and TB, had narrowed the suspects down to three:
- Smarty - the carpet installing misfit
- Arty - the vinyl installing misfit
- Farty - the carpet cleaning misfit
Smarty was the first misfit brought in for questioning.
"Smarty," TA said in an inquisitive tone, "When you left Awesome Apartments, did you accidentally take a stereo with you?"
"No", said Smarty.
"OK, so you're 110% sure that if we searched your truck, we wouldn't find a stereo?" TA asked again.
"Yeah", snapped Smarty, quite sure that TA didn't understand the meaning of percentages.
TA looked at Barbie and TB and said, "I can say with 112% certainty that Smarty is innocent."
Arty was the next misfit to be questioned. TB began the inquisition.
"Arty, you like chicken - correct?" TB asked.
Barbie shot TB a look that seemed to say, "I would have asked about beans. "
"Why are you asking me about chicken?" Arty snapped back.
"You seem defensive Arty, is there anything you want to tell us?" asked TB, thinking he was really getting somewhere with this line of questioning.
"Alright, alright - I was sick after my lunch of beans, so I made some brown artwork in the toilet and didn't flush. I'm so ashamed."
"OK." Barbie said, in an understanding voice (she knew a thing or two about leaving stuff in the commode). Then to TA and TB she said, "Obviously Arty didn't take at stereo. Certainly anyone would admit to taking a stereo before admitting to doing what he did."
Farty was the last suspect to be questioned. The misfit detectives were quite sure that Farty must be the culprit, as Smarty and Arty had already been cleared. Plus Farty smelled bad, and the misfits' motto had always been - "When in doubt, blame the smelly one." Barbie began the questioning.
"Farty, when you were cleaning unit 262 at Awesome Apartments - did you happen to notice an unclaimed stereo?" she asked.
"I saw a stereo, but it had a post it note on it" said Farty. "'It read, 'Please do not steal'"
"So, when you left the apartment, the stereo was still inside?" asked Barbie.
"Yup, but I could smell someone else in the unit." Farty claimed.
Barbie, TB & TA were confused. So far, none of their suspects seemed guilty and all seemed to have rock solid alibis (not by Law & Order standards, of course).
It was time for Barbie to call Juanette from Awesome Apartments to give her an update.
"Juanette, this is Barbie from Carpet Warehouse. I think we've cleared all three misfits of any wrong doing." Barbie said nervously, afraid Juanette would be disappointed that they hadn't found the perpetrator.
"Oh, I forgot to call.", Juanette said, "One of our employees found the stereo a couple hours ago. Thanks. Bye."
Barbie hung up the phone, a little frustrated from all the needless work, but satisfied they had done excellent job and had a happy customer. She marked the case "Closed" (and then promptly went to the bathroom again). It was another good day for the misfits detectives.
The End.
"Smarty," TA said in an inquisitive tone, "When you left Awesome Apartments, did you accidentally take a stereo with you?"
"No", said Smarty.
"OK, so you're 110% sure that if we searched your truck, we wouldn't find a stereo?" TA asked again.
"Yeah", snapped Smarty, quite sure that TA didn't understand the meaning of percentages.
TA looked at Barbie and TB and said, "I can say with 112% certainty that Smarty is innocent."
Arty was the next misfit to be questioned. TB began the inquisition.
"Arty, you like chicken - correct?" TB asked.
Barbie shot TB a look that seemed to say, "I would have asked about beans. "
"Why are you asking me about chicken?" Arty snapped back.
"You seem defensive Arty, is there anything you want to tell us?" asked TB, thinking he was really getting somewhere with this line of questioning.
"Alright, alright - I was sick after my lunch of beans, so I made some brown artwork in the toilet and didn't flush. I'm so ashamed."
"OK." Barbie said, in an understanding voice (she knew a thing or two about leaving stuff in the commode). Then to TA and TB she said, "Obviously Arty didn't take at stereo. Certainly anyone would admit to taking a stereo before admitting to doing what he did."
Farty was the last suspect to be questioned. The misfit detectives were quite sure that Farty must be the culprit, as Smarty and Arty had already been cleared. Plus Farty smelled bad, and the misfits' motto had always been - "When in doubt, blame the smelly one." Barbie began the questioning.
"Farty, when you were cleaning unit 262 at Awesome Apartments - did you happen to notice an unclaimed stereo?" she asked.
"I saw a stereo, but it had a post it note on it" said Farty. "'It read, 'Please do not steal'"
"So, when you left the apartment, the stereo was still inside?" asked Barbie.
"Yup, but I could smell someone else in the unit." Farty claimed.
Barbie, TB & TA were confused. So far, none of their suspects seemed guilty and all seemed to have rock solid alibis (not by Law & Order standards, of course).
It was time for Barbie to call Juanette from Awesome Apartments to give her an update.
"Juanette, this is Barbie from Carpet Warehouse. I think we've cleared all three misfits of any wrong doing." Barbie said nervously, afraid Juanette would be disappointed that they hadn't found the perpetrator.
"Oh, I forgot to call.", Juanette said, "One of our employees found the stereo a couple hours ago. Thanks. Bye."
Barbie hung up the phone, a little frustrated from all the needless work, but satisfied they had done excellent job and had a happy customer. She marked the case "Closed" (and then promptly went to the bathroom again). It was another good day for the misfits detectives.
The End.
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