Sunday, July 26, 2009

Risk Averse Doesn't Even Begin To Describe It

Buttin is in Las Vegas this weekend. He's already been propositioned by a prostitute and followed around by a drunk guy, so it's safe to say - he's having a good time.

I think Las Vegas is OK, but too many lights, strange color combinations and desperation makes it kind of sad.

A few people gave Buttin $100 each to bet on certain games, like roulette and the poker bonus. Buttin asked me if I'd also like him to bet money for me. I told him no thank you and this wasn't a surprise to him - he knows it pains me to gamble.

It started as a child. When I was only about 10 or so - I spent about four weeks worth of allowance ($10) trying to win a cake walk at our school fair. I had the best of intentions - I wanted to win it for my mother (I promise, it wasn't for myself - but I may have wanted one piece). I even bet my one and only silver dollar trying to win a stupid cake.

When I came home from the fair, I was so ashamed - I don't think I even admitted it to my mother right away, but I did tell my dad (I think secretly I hoped he might just give me $10 - I am a daddy's girl, after all and I had learned at a very young age that he didn't like it when I was upset. This is why I fear having a little girl, but that's another post entirely). He told me something that I still remember and think about to this day, he said - "A fool and his money are soon parted." (He also told me I had "champagne taste and a beer pocket book", but that too, is another post.) I know now that this is something commonly said, especially to foolish little girls trying to win a cake, but at the time - I thought it was very profound.

A couple years ago, Buttin and I took my dear mother-in-law (Mom Marsha) to Las Vegas to visit Bubie (my grandmother). I'm kind of a penny and nickle slot kind of girl (classy, I know), so it took pretty much all my courage (and a bottle of vodka) to play blackjack at the (wait for it) $5 table. I think $5 tables are pretty much as low as it goes, but this was letting go for me. I had a good time and I was able to make my $25 last for quite sometime, but let's just say, I wasn't getting many comps. It was just uncomfortable knowing that $5 could go so quickly - serioulsy, I could buy at least two packages of cookie dough for $5.

It's not just money, I'm pretty risk averse when it comes to most things in my life. I don't plan on skydiving or bungee jumping or eating blow fish anytime soon - in fact the riskiest thing I plan on doing in the next couple of weeks is swimming with beluga whales in Chicago (I can't wait). And even this - is not that risky, my fabulous friend Liz (we're going to Chicago with her & her husband) looked it up the interweb and she couldn't find any cases of beluga whales biting people. I'm hoping not to be the first.

1 comment:

  1. If you are the first victim of a Beluga whale attack you would have a great story to tell and you would probably be invited on the Jon Stewart show to tell your story. See, that could be really cool.

    IN fact if a whale tries to attack you I will throw my body between you and the whale - yes I will probably save your life (yawn) but I will also be making history as the first woman attacked (dare I dream of being "maimed") by a Beluga whale. And don't think I won't milk that for all its worth at bars and at public events.

    We could even have T-shirts made. I have already thought of the slogan: "I survived a Beluga whale attack and all I got was this lousy t-shirt and a disfiguring scar."

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